“Rizzoli & Isles” Retro Subtext Recap (1.03): The days of wine and dead fridge cheese

Now Jane is in real trouble, not because she was just fire bombed but because she is later for dinner with her family. She rushes off and arrives in her LBD with a bouquet of flowers. Who does she find waiting for her as the only guest but Grant. She fell victim to another classic mom move: The set-up. This, by the way, is how I imagine Jane looks when she shows up to all her dates with Maura, but without the look of abject horror in her eyes.

Mama Rizzoli at first denies the set-up but you can’t lie to a homicide detective. She admits to wanting to make sure Jane is “taken care of” and then tells her to “go be a girl.” Lady, you really need to start reading those PFLAG pamphlets I keep sending you.

Jane grabs the wine bottle and goes to face her set up. Grant tells her he hasn’t seen her in a dress since Senior Prom. Take a hint, people. Rather than recap their awkward banter, I’m going to let Jane’s face explain what happens. Keep on drinking that wine, honey. It’s the only way to get through this.

Then Jane says the truest thing ever: “No offense, but I don’t need a guy to make me happy.” Nope, she needs a Maura. So she grabs the wine bottle and the flowers and goes off to find her.

In the morgue, Maura pours the wine and chuckles. Jane, still in her little black dress, does that fake insecurity thing where you’re really fishing for a compliment from your girlfriend. Not that that’s something I’ve ever done or anything.

Jane: Why are you laughing? Do I look stupid?
Maura: No, are you kidding? Really, you don’t know? You’re gorgeous, my friend.

Cue bow-chicka-bow-wow music and massive eye sex.

Right, and Maura eats a little cheese from the “dead fridge.” Jane leaves to solve the murder/play hard to get and Maura asks her “night light on or off?” I’m going to assume that means at her place because it’ll be late by the time Jane gets to Maura’s apartment.

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