“Rizzoli & Isles” Retro Subtext Recap (1.03): The days of wine and dead fridge cheese


Maura, protecting her headstrong girlfriend as always, scolds Jane saying she had better lower her voice or she will be drinking her pulpy juice out of a sippy cup. Yes, a sippy cup. Someone is channeling her inner Bette Porter and I like it.

The dead boy’s mother tells Jane and Det. Frost that it was the devil (i.e. evil skateboarder kids) who got into her son and now she is cursed. Since they’ve already mentioned devils and curses, I feel it’s my duty to tell you that the deceased’s mom is wearing a head wrap and large hoop earrings. So I fear at any moment the writers will have her scream “Call me now!”

Back in the morgue, Maura tells Jane she can’t pinpoint a cause of death. She also asks her if Grant is sexy “in a male sort of way?” Right, because straight women always ask each other if men are attractive in a “male sort of way.” Maura saves herself though by admitting he isn’t her type. You know, the male sort of type.

Jane calls him a “brass kisser” and says he used to yell “roly-poly Rizzoli eats cannoli” at her. Maura asks sympathetically if Jane was overweight and Jane insists she was just “athletic and strong.” Even Maura with her literal interpretations of everyday idioms knows what “athletic and strong” are code for. Right, Maura?

The boy shows signs of being involved in an exorcism, so they track down his mom’s Cape Verdean church and its ex-con priest. Jane and Maura go there to question him, but really just to stand together and look pretty. I mean, look – pretty.

Also, they throw in a quickie eye sex session because when there’s that much pretty happening sometimes you just can’t help yourself. Then, later outside the car, they have a proper session.

After Jane returns from finding out that the dead kid’s mom and dad were in a bitter custody dispute, Maura finally concludes that his death was not from natural causes. She also colludes with Mama Rizzoli who has brought Jane her LBD to wear to dinner the next night. They bond over the stitching.

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