Recap of The Dinah 2012: “The Real L Word,” Chaka Khan, Rye Rye and web stars

I need to start with the qualifier that both of us are Dinah virgins, so those of you that aren’t, pardon the shock and awe factor. Wow, it really is insanity! It’s basically a lesbian rave with the added bonus of pool parties — oh and Chaka Khan. Is this heaven? Where have I been? Not to mention that everyone around you is a beautiful queer woman (and a few bio and trans guys — don’t wanna leave ya’ll out). Basically everyone is hot.

Amidst our grueling party schedule (and well, ahem, other stuff schedule) we somehow found time to do our job, so let’s get to all that juicy stuff. We live in L.A., not too far, so we thought our drive wouldn’t be awful if we left before rush hour, but apparently some lesbians that moved to Portland did come back after all ‘cuz traffic was terrible and we missed Friday’s day events along with Rye Rye‘s set, which we were particularly devastated about. We did, however, talk to her on The Dinah’s red carpet.

Dang. She is so adorable, right?

Rye Rye with Mariah Hanson

This was taken amidst the pre-jitters of Dinah’s famous white party. Not really sure what the whole White Party thing is about. I thought the fact that this whole thing was based on a golf tournament was subtly racist enough. Regardless, it was certainly a rager and proved to be attended by all kinds. It seemed like, just as the booty bumpin’ Top 40 started to get boring, sister duo Nina Sky came on. Now for those of you who don’t know who they are, I’m sure you may have heard their one hit wonder-status song, “Move Ya Body,” that came out in ’04. Despite the discouragingly heterosexual lyrics it turns out one of them is queer. (Nicole!) Oh, and I refuse to be a super creeper and imply that it’s hot that they’re sisters, so individually they are way hot. Also, the set was incredible. It sounded awesome and they did a cover of “Say My Name” by Destiny’s Child, which ruled, obviously.

Nina Sky

After they played, the party raged on and things got sloppier. It was practically standing room only at times in the ginormous ballroom of the Riviera, which, by the way, was probably the most beautiful and swanky resort that has ever let me through the doors. There was something cathartic about thousands of sex-crazed, party-hungry lesbians taking over a space like that, I think I might be Dinah addicted.

Anyway, let’s keep this narrative rolling. So right after they played that Flo Rida song for, like, the fifth time, Wynter Gordon went on at 1 a.m. and did a short and exciting little set and sang her hit, “Dirty Talk,” while hundreds of drunk queers screamed. It was pretty epic. I’m not gonna lie — I left after that ‘cuz mama was tired, but the event raged ’till 3 a.m. and then I’m sure much later in the privacy of the hotel rooms.

Wynter Gordon

So I know all of you are like, “Alright, already — I wanna know what Whitney looked like in her bathing suit!” So for all of you Real L Word fans; you’re in luck because the cast was very well represented at Dinah this year. I felt like I was practically tripping over them, honestly. I was like, "This is too real." Here are some little snippets from the red carpet and Saturday’s pool party.

Real L Word cast members past and present

OK, let me paint a picture of the Dinah pool party. Oh yeah, I don’t have to because we took a whole bunch of photos. Here is some of the hilarity that ensued.

Amongst this debauchery, people attempted to take the stage and perform. Some of which produced my favorite Dinah 2012 moments for sure. One was definitely Meital. The Israeli pop star’s set was complete with go-go-esque male and female dancers, half-dressed in panda suits lifting her up in her scant gold lame outfit — so cool. We were also loving her look on the red carpet. We caught up to her in the mayhem and asked about her first Dinah experience. “I wish I could do it on a regular basis, morning and evening,” Meital said. “The women are great, beautiful and amazing.” Think intriguing foreign accent.

Porcelain Black also owned it, exuding rock ‘n roll and winning over the crowd by proclaiming her appetite for the ladies. Saturday night was Chaka Khan night. The Palm Springs convention center was abuzz with it. That crowd! Honestly I wish I could live in a world filled with just that crowd cloned over and over again. Loved it! And her performance — I knew it was gonna be good but I wasn’t expecting this out of this world, powerhouse realness, marathon of a set situation. Damn, can we start like a lesbian deadhead-esque Chaka Khan caravan or something? Because I am coming back. Not to mention she looked great! I think that’s what happens when you have so many close personal friends who are gay men. You have access to all the best moisturizer.

One of the funnier activities at Dinah was the Battle of the Lesbian Web Series, which was on the pool party stage. Hosted by comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer, she led the likes of Nicole Pacent from Anyone But Me and Nicole Pina from the Friends and Lovers Show in a series of foolhardy activities such as tying a maraschino cherry stem in a knot with your tongue and a themed version of Simon Says (called Dinah Says). I have no idea who won, but everyone looked super hot and was charming on stage even while drunk (I’m assuming). Now that takes skill. Here are a few words from our beloved web series stars.

As the last pool party came to an end on Sunday and the Dinah high started to turn into a daytime hangover, there was one more surprise that was keeping everyone guessing. A mystery guest was scheduled to perform around 4 p.m. None other than CeCe Peniston, the desert native and early ’90s legend famous for her dance hit “Finally,” emerged on the dusky desert dance floor. It was a pretty perfect ending to a practically flawless Dinah Shore weekend.

We asked everyone we interviewed what they had to stay to their queer fans and here’s what they had to say.

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