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“R&B Divas” recap (3.4): Suck it up and take a dump

Last week on R&B Divas, we were immersed in Wyatt family drama, and got introduced to Angie’s daughter Diamond. In fact, Diamond’s introduction to the divas at their first rehearsal for their One Night Only concert threatened to derail the whole musical train. This week, we witness Monifah’s liposuction surgery, and spend a lot more time with new divas Meelah and LaTavia. We even watch them take a dump–which is a lot less but gross but a lot more emotional than you would expect! (Just wait for it, okay?)

But back to Diamond. We left off last week with Keke standing up to leave after Angie’s daughter interrupts their meeting, but alas! They was just playin’ us. Keke was frustrated that they weren’t getting more done, yes, but she deals with it like a grown ass woman this time. Instead of walking away, she just decides to get this party started. Tired of talking, she gets on the drums and starts jamming. And man oh man, do I love Keke Wyatt on the drums. The musical direction of this season already feels a lot more positive than Season Two.

There’s also some icky stuff happening in this episode, but it in fact doesn’t have to do with taking a dump. It has to do with Mo’s desire to have a skimpy waist for her wedding. As she preps Terez at home about the recovery process from her liposuction–buying pads and a plastic covering for the bed to deal with post-surgery leaking, ewwww–Terez is clearly as uncomfortable as we all are. Monifah accounts this worrying to Terez’s being a Libra. Hahaha. Lesbians. As they arrive at the clinic for lipo day, Monifah re-affirms how positive she feels about the whole thing. She couldn’t sleep the night before because she was so excited! She meditates. She’s present. Terez stands by in the observation room. She does not meditate. She is not excited. We are all Terez.

Mo doesn’t have to go completely under for the procedure, but is just put under a local anaesthetic, so that she’s in a “twilight.” And apparently twilight is freaking terrifying because as they twist and manipulate her stomach in ways that DO NOT LOOK NATURAL OH GOD MAKE IT STOP, Monifah begins loudly muttering things like “why why why why” and “oh lord oh lord oh lord.” Is this a horror movie? What is happening? Liposuction is scary and weird! I don’t like it, Sam I am! Although Terez’s anxious, distressed face in the next room is almost just as painful to bear.

Eventually the nightmare is over, praise be, and Terez can comfort her baby. But Mo is still coming back to full consciousness. And to test her, Terez leans over and asks conspiratorially, “Where’d you hide the money?” Monifah groggily agrees that she DID hide something. Didn’t she? Terez nudges her again: “Where did you hide it?” Suddenly Mo shouts, confidently and offended, like she can’t believe Terez would suggest such a thing: “I didn’t hide it here!” A second later, when more light is flowing to her brain, she adds, “Are you messing with me?” I am dying. This is the funniest interaction to ever happen on R&B Divas. Terez is a genius and I love her.

While Monifah is getting her medical makeover, Meelah is blowing full steam ahead at her own makeover: a new, revamped solo career. First she meets with a choreographer friend, Tiffany Murphy, to work on some moves. Tiffany also invites her to perform at a charity event. Then Meelah invites LaTavia to an acting class, so that the two of them can work on a renewed stage presence together. Finally, Miss Meelah meets with stylist Reco Chapple, who is the most Fabulous With a Capital F, for some new sassy outfits. Work – it – girl.

Diamond shows up again when Angie is working with some clients on some song or other and she brings in her daughter to sing the hook. Aaaaand, I don’t know. As I said last week, I like Diamond, and it sounds like she has a good voice. But I just feel bored by the continuation of her storyline. It’s like my brain only has room for so many divas, and it’s already at its saturation point. Anything else just bounces right off.

The episode reaches its peak of intensity, though, when Meelah and LaTavia show up for their first acting lessons. They’re working with a coach called Rotunda Underwood, whose sexy, calming voice I wouldn’t mind talking me to sleep.

And the first thing Rotunda Underwood makes them do is stand up on stage and, as she says, take a dump. She asks them to think about a really good dump: “It’s ugly, it’s painful, but it’s so worth it.” Well, Rotunda, I have to say, that IS true. Once LaTavia gets past her giggles at all this (which are well-deserved), they then actually step into their shit. Rotunda has them think about a critical moment from their youth, and to address their younger selves out loud.

Meelah starts speaking to a young black girl who was too black to be beautiful; who didn’t think she was pretty because her skin was too dark; who had friends who said they were friends but still called her tar baby; who needed to believe she was beautiful and not just because her mother said so. And no one’s giggling anymore. It is intense, and as LaTavia says, courageous.

And then it’s LaTavia’s turn. If you thought we went through some real talk with Syleecia and Syleena a few episodes ago, hold on to your tissues, because the real talk this season just keeps getting realer. LaTavia addresses a little girl who’s been molested, and not just once, but for years. Until she said something to her mother–and nothing was done. It continued for five MORE years. Jesus. Rotunda looks into LaTavia’s eyes and tells her that before she’s ready to sing again, she needs to get her power back. Because even though it’s been years, this violation was so deep that it’s still making LaTavia feel powerless.

LaTavia decides that to start this process of building herself back up again, she has to begin with talking to her mom about their past. They sit down together and fold baby clothes. LaTavia, clearly uncomfortable, explains what happened at the acting class, and then gets to the heart of it. She says she felt unprotected as a kid because her mother didn’t stand up for her. Her mom responds by saying that at the time, she felt like LaTavia was manipulating her. Because that stuff was something she saw on TV, not something that could actually happen in her own home. From an outsider’s view, this sounds awful, of course. But it’s also an honest explanation of how denial works, and denial can be a powerful drug.

This whole conversation between LaTavia and her mother seems full of healthy, but painful honesty: they’re vulnerable and regretful, but not bitter. And when LaTavia’s mom says, “I am so sorry,” not once, but twice, she says it so genuinely. And when LaTavia says that she doesn’t blame her, she sounds genuine, too. Because here’s the thing: there really is only one person who’s to blame. And he’s not in the room.

Keke, meanwhile, has convinced Lorna to go to therapy. They go to a session together, and it seems to go well. Unlike when Syleena tried to take her resistant mom to therapy, Lorna opens up right away. After talking for just a little while, she says she feels better, and both she and Keke later agree that it was productive and they should continue.

They discuss it in Keke’s kitchen, with Keke in an amazing pair of full on pajamas. After a little cry and a hug, Keke ends out the conversation the way she ends out every conversation when she’s feeling good: with a lot of farts. I think this is actually the first Keke Fart Session of Season Three! It’s impressive that it took this long, really. Is it weird to say I’ve sort of missed them?

We finish out the episode with Meelah’s big performance at Tiffany’s charity event, her first solo performance in a long ass time. She’s understandably nervous, especially when, GUESS WHAT, she and her manager show up for rehearsal and the sound system is shitty. If R&B Divas ever needs a tagline, it should read “R&B Divas Atlanta: CURSE OF THE MICS!” And even though it’s obvious to everyone that the sound is shitty, there ain’t nothin’ anyone can do about it. So instead, Meelah focuses on the positive, like the fact that almost all the divas, with the exception of Angie, have come out to support her–even Mo, who’s still recovering from surgery! That’s some sisters in song, y’all. Meelah gives them her gratitude, explaining that she doesn’t think she’s ever had support from other female artists in her career–like, ever.

And then it’s showtime! And the crowd and all the divas are up and singing along to the 702 hits, and even though Meelah is definitely nervous, she seems to be having a good time, and she sounds…okay? I don’t know. I don’t think she sounds bad. I think she sounds okay. But, it’s her first concert in a long time, and clearly she is committed to working her voice back up. I’m excited to see how she progresses with the divas.

What were your thoughts on this episode–on Mo’s sucking up, and Meelah and LaTavia’s dumping out?

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