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“R&B Divas” recap (3.3): Diamond derailment

Last week on R&B Divas, Monifah and Terez started to wedding plan, Mo and Keke tried to talk it out, and Syleena and Syleecia shared some hard truths. This week, Angie Stone’s personal life starts to step more to the forefront, and we spend a lot of time at the Drama House of Keke Wyatt.

We start here, in fact, as Keever and Keke and Littlest Baby Wyatt stressfully wait on Keke’s pregnancy test. She thinks she might be preggers because of her recent mood swings and her “itchy titties.” She makes Keever look at it first. Wearing a smirk and his amazing #TeamKeke sweatshirt-I mean, can we buy those somewhere?-he announces that it’s positive. Keke says she’s going to throw up. Keever says-just joshin’! She’s not pregnant at all. KEE-VER!

Syleena and Angie then share a staged but still hilarious game of basketball, because Syleena just really likes working out with everybody, I guess. Angie Stone is, shockingly, not that great at basketball. After she pulls a whistle outta her boobs and starts calling fouls every time Leena plays defense, they get down to talking business. The divas have to move on musically, because as Angie eloquently puts it, “We need to be an example that sisterhood exists.”

Sisterhood in action!

Speaking of which, I still haven’t commented on the new theme song! So there’s a new theme song. It’s all about being sisters in song, which I dig, and which is a good reflection of what the theme of the show is supposed to be. But man, did I really love that old theme song. Let me see you put your hands in the air if you love yourself! But since that song is credited as being Faith’s, and Faith isn’t really a character on the show anymore, I understand wanting to put a fresh spin on things. So yay sisters in song, but RIP putting your hands in the air if you love yourself.

Back at the House of Keke, it’s a big ol’ family party as they prepare dinner one night: kids, cousins, Momma Lorna, Michael, Keever-and his adorable fiancee Teddy!-the whole lot.

Keever and Teddy! More of Keever and Teddy!

And at first this seems like it might be an amusing scene, as they lovably joke back and forth about how to make meatloaf. When one of the men suggests they cook meatloaf on the stove! Like, the stovetop! Lolol, who even are you! But the tension begins when Keke raises the issue, mainly to her mother, of feeling like she doesn’t hold enough power over her own children because everyone else is always fighting over them. To which this amazing back-and-forth happens:

Michael: It takes a village to raise a child.

Keke: It takes a billy goat to lick your ass.

Haha! What! I don’t even know what this means!

Anyway, then Keever steps in, announcing that Lorna is mean. Which, well, it kinda sorta seems like she is. As an example, in response to this comment, Lorna calls Keever-her son-a jerk. And then Keever just goes off, and with each frustrated, arm-flailing accusation he tosses at Lorna, Lorna gets more and more defensive and angry in response, until eventually she says, “I’m better at this than you.” Which I think means, I’m better at thinking of mean things to say than you, which seems like a weird thing to be proud of, at least between a mother and a son. Keke continues to drink her wine. She says that she wishes her mother would talk to someone, because there’s a lot of pent up stuff inside her that makes her the way she is.

Two words! First word starts with: Stop being a bitch, Mom!

Later in the episode, when things are a bit calmer, Keever and Keke will sit down with Lorna and tell her just that. Which is interesting, since a lot of us were thinking of telling the same thing to Keke just a couple episodes ago. Lorna says that sometimes she lashes out at the people she loves the most, and expects them to just know what’s going on inside her head. She says that she only hurts people’s feelings after her own feelings have been hurt. Suddenly, it is becoming clear that Keke is her mother’s daughter. We don’t see Lorna actually agree to therapy in this episode, but Keever and Keke suggest maybe family therapy, which would be a great idea for all of them. I hope we get to see how that idea progresses throughout the rest of this season.

The most important scene this episode musically, however, takes place in Mo’s apartment, when allllll the divas come together for a “think tank.” Syleena has come prepared, sexy nerd glasses and all, with photocopies of her ideas printed out and passed ’round. She wants to do a one-night only show that someone can videotape and then potentially pass around to higher powers.

And for at least the moment, it appears, hallelujah, that everyone agrees on this idea! Even Keke is being affable and enthusiastic about it. That is, after a brief and hilarious confusion when Angie suggests it be an acoustic show, which Keke takes to mean just a mic and a guitar, and as she says, black folks ain’t gonna sit through a whole show of that. But when the divas explain there’d be full instrumentation, just unplugged, she’s down.

The only people who seem to be hesitant are the new divas. LaTavia’s having the most trouble, because she hasn’t sung in a long time and is feeling insecure on pretty much every level about it. Meelah is excited for a concert, but not down with the idea that Syleena has suggested of all the divas singing backup for each other. Later, she’ll explain that there was a time in her life post-702 where she sang backup just to get by, and that it was not a good time in her life. It sounds like just the word “backup” gave her some tremors of PTSD. I hope she eventually understands that it’s just about the divas supporting each other, as opposed to any one of them fading into the background. But all the divas seem to understand her situation and give her support.

LaTavia, however, is still freaked out. She meets Monifah at her studio, where it seems like Mo is kicking ass on her new project. She’s in the middle of explaining to her photographer how she wants the look of the album art to be invincible when LaTavia comes in. After Monifah gives her a good Monifah talk about being true to yourself, she straight out asks if LaTavia wants to sing anymore and LaTavia says no. So. We’ll see how that goes!

Dear Mo: We must know what the boob tattoo says.

More personal demons come out in this episode in the form of Angie and her daughter Diamond. We first meet Diamond as she’s recording a new single in the studio, “Smoke and Ride.” Angie’s there to support her, but then flips out when Diamond curses in the middle of the song. Oh, moms.

This conversation about cursing in music descends into a teary discussion about how Angie has never been a good parent to Diamond, or supported her like she supports other people (like the divas). After talking it out with her boo, Angie feels a little better about their fight, and after talking to Diamond again at home, it seems like both of them feel a little better about it.

I like Diamond: she has a good voice (for the few seconds we were able to hear it), and this storyline seems genuine, and it probably was hard having a young Angie Stone for a mom. But then shit gets weird. The divas have met up for their first rehearsal for their “One Night Only” concert extravaganza. They’re hashing out the details when all of a sudden, Diamond strolls in. She’s come all the way from South Carolina, Angie says happily, you know, to hang.

The automatic-happy-greeting faces will soon turn into automatic confusion!

Except it’s not really a hanging type of situation. It’s a professional business type of situation, so it just seems weird. As Mo says, it’s awkward. And as Syleena says, this isn’t a divas-in-training group. I know Angie wants to really make it clear to her daughter that she’s 100% there for her and her career, but this isn’t the way to do it. This is taking advantage. No other diva has just invited a random family member or friend to hang with the group during a professional rehearsal, and I’m sure all those divas know a lot of talented peeps.

And when it seems like this distraction has diverted the actual business side of this meeting, Keke’s short fuse has been lit and she stands up to leave because it’s a waste of time. But it was going so well, you guys! You guys! Where’s Tim Gunn? Make it work!

We’ll see the resolution of this started-out-so-well rehearsal next week. We’ll also get to see Monifah’s liposuction surgery, the plus of which is that we’ll get to see Terez’s face again, as well. I missed her face this episode!

What were your thoughts about the developments this week?

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