Rating lesbian character deaths on a scale of 1 to 5 crying Santana Lopezes

 
 

Sandy Lopez, ER

By ER‘s 10th season, they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel for dramatic stories they hadn’t told before. Once they’d done the lesbian pregnancy thing, they were out of ideas for Kerry’s partner, so they just went ahead and killed her in a fire. Kerry’s the one who told the other doctors to stop trying to revive her. And then she sat with her body in the operating room and cried and cried and said, “Sandy had a big family. I only had her.” Guh! (Luckily writers don’t lean on those “Bury Your Gays” and “All Lesbians Want Kids” tropes anymore.) (JUST KIDDING.)

Trauma Verdict: Four Crying Santana Lopezes

 

Jenny Schecter, The L Word

Kenny’s perpetual death on South Park is sadder than Jenny drowning in Bette and Tina’s pool. Who killed her? Who cares?

Trauma Verdict: Half a Crying Santana Lopez

 

Maya, Pretty Little Liars

You know that old joke about how the best way to tell a person her cat died is to be like, “Your cat is on the roof.” And then the next day: “Your cat won’t come down from the roof.” And then the next day: “Your cat fell off the roof and the vet is trying to patch him up.” And then the next day: “Your cat died.” Just to sort of ease them into the idea? That’s how PLL played Maya’s death. Oh, she ran away. Oh, she hopped into the car with a stranger at the bus station. Oh, she stopped answering all her texts. Oh, here she is, buried under the gazebo at the old DiLaurentis’ place. Still, though, nothing could have prepared us for Emily’s heartbreaking reaction. That’s the face of a girl who’s had two girlfriends get axe murdered in two years. 

Trauma Verdict: Four Crying Santana Lopezes

What do you think is the most traumatic lesbian character death of all time? (If you want to see Santana’s verdict on fictional lesbian fashion, you can check that out over here!)

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