RachelWatch: Wait, Wait… Don’t Heal Me!

 
 

Today: Obama’s press conference and Elizabeth Edwards on health care.

Podium-Side Chat

Rachel started us off with the fresh-off-the-airwaves news of Obama’s press conference on health care.

As Rachel pointed out, the President has had just about enough of the “We don’t need to do anything right away” and “It’s too expensive” arguments.

He also briefly talked about racial profiling in regard to the Henry Louis Gates case, so get ready for wingnuts to be all over the airwaves waving arrest reports at town meetings and screaming that the police have been totally biased against white men the whole time and what about that white guy who got tasered on a college campus, huh?

Any show that gets Pat Buchanan’s invaluable take on this issue is dead to me.

Just Say Slow

Rachel and staff inflicted a devastating video-based Death By 10,000 Cuts on the Republican call to slow down health care reform.

Land o’ Goshen, that is some impressive, generations-long foot-dragging. Pets across the nation want to take political foot-dragging seminars for when it’s time to go to the vet.

Does anyone really think we wouldn’t have had a national plan years ago if we had public campaign financing and tougher lobbying laws?

Elizabeth Edwards joined Rachel to talk about health care. And nothing else, so don’t get excited.

Ms. Information

Senator John Thune (R – South Dakota) made an impressive swan dive into the Gather ‘Round the Loonbats race by asserting that people who have carry permits for concealed weapons in their home states should be able to pack heat in any state, regardless of that state’s laws.

People, The Rushmore State just made a bold move. Apparently the plan is to wander into target states as innocent-looking tourists and then suddenly whip out their superior firepower all at once.

The good news is that to make the numbers this plan requires to work they’ll need, um, all of them, so everybody else just keep a close eye on the borders. When the South Dakotans leave, everybody else rush in and take over Wall Drug. They’ll be begging for terms of negotiation in no time.

Rachel also brought us up to speed on news from the impressively odd nation of Turkmenistan. President Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow celebrated the opening of a new cancer hospital with a little light surgery: He removed a tumor from a patient’s ear.

Thank goodness there wasn’t another letter R in that last word.

Hostage

Rachel returned to the story of Private First Class Bowe Bergdahl, who has been captured by the Taliban.

Lieutenant Colonel Ralph Peters made statements over the weekend suggesting that Bergdahl is a deserter and implying that he thought the Taliban could save the U.S. some trouble by executing Bergdahl.

Veterans have in turn suggested that Peters can save the rest of us some trouble by cramming a sock in it until we know exactly what happened.

Just Enough

Just to finish this off with a little levity, here’s Kent Jones and a report on some Aussies taking care of the pranking we should have been doing ages ago.