RachelWatch: Rachel Challenges a Conservadem

 
 

Today: Muammar Kadhafi, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, and Sarah Palin all give speeches. Coincidence?

Breaking News

Rachel started off with some sad and scary breaking news – an unsettling indicator that the right’s shameless whipping up of anti-government fears amongst the wingnuts may have more than just political consequences.

Bill Sparkman, a 51-year-old part-time census worker, was found hanged in the Daniel Boone National forest. The word “Fed” was written on his chest and authorities believe he was murdered.

Census workers have been notified because it’s possible — though not yet certain — that Sparkman was murdered because he was a government employee.

Losing It

Rachel gave us a live shot of the Senate burning the midnight (well, late evening) oil as it tried to deal with the Max Baucus version of the health care reform bill, also known as the What if We Gave the Insurance Companies Vats Full of Money? Bill.

Rachel noted that since anti-reform players are fatigued and without any incentive to do anything but block, they’ve started to go in to full-on Ernie Anastos mode and just say anything that pops into their heads at any time.

Seriously, like anything. Recipes for fruit salad, old Goon Show bits, deep fake concerns about whether a government plan would cover the vapors or lycanthropy, anything.

One More Thing:

Rachel gave us an update on Conservadem Representative Mike Ross (D – Arkansas) and the suspiciously favorable terms he got in a real estate deal with USA Drug.

Ross attacked reports about his apparent superhuman negotiating skills, saying that the sale had nothing to do with politics — which is entirely true except for the part where the owner of USA Drug has some strong opinions on universal health care.

Rachel then renewed her invitation to Congressman Ross to come on the show and sort out this whole innocent unique fixer-upper of a misunderstanding out. And this time she did it while making her double-dog dare face.

Congressman Ross, just bite the bullet and go on the show. You don’t want to find out what happens to you when she gets to triple-dog dare.

Duty Free

Rachel moved on to the puzzling news that Sarah Palin gave a speech in Hong Kong.

Rumor has it that Palin got paid a whole bunch of money, but I think that was a broad hint to hire a copyeditor this time.

During her speech, Palin said that the financial crisis happened because of too many regulations. I’m not sure I follow her logic. Maybe she thinks that if bankers feel like their creativity is being restrained they can’t help but act out.

Nobel Prizewinning economist Paul Krugman begged to differ.

One more thing:

Just in case watching Tom DeLay dance didn’t make you claw your eyeballs out, Rachel reported that Carly Fiorina, a veteran of the McCain-Palin campaign, may be running against California Senator Barbara Boxer (D).

To test the waters, Fiorina decided to hit potential supporters with a terrible website and a breathtakingly bad signature pun and see if they’ll still give her money after that. It’s a devilishly clever way of sorting out the truly dedicated.

In another possible devilishly clever tactic that Rachel seems to have missed, does Fiorina have a picture of the Ninja from Ask a Ninja on her site?

And if that’s him but he’s under “Bad,” does that mean he’s endorsing her or not?

Ms. Information

President Obama spoke at the United Nations and tried to reassure everybody that they can stop shrieking and hiding under their desks every time someone mentions natural resources, because from now on we will sincerely try not to make up reasons to have a war in order to take them.

Well, for the next few years, anyway.

And then Muammar Kadhafi got up and spoke for an hour and 15 minutes beyond his allotted 15-minute time slot and even though everybody kept raising their eyebrows and making polite little throat-clearing noises and his translator collapsed, he just kept right on talking and showing everyone his vacation photos and telling old football stories from college and generally going completely, utterly whackadoodle.

And then he said he loved Obama and wants him to be President for life and pretty much hit every loonbat talking point from the last six months with an order of curly fries on the side. A part of me suspects he did it just to mess with us.

Anyway, don’t think you’re going to be done hearing about secret plans to give the federal government, the Grand Canyon, and George Washington’s corpse to scary scary foreign Muslims any time soon.

Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad also rocked the mic. He described his recent “election” as “glorious.”

We have no way of knowing what he said after that because everyone walked out in disgust, including a family of mice and several statues.

Rocket Mensch

Remember Darfur?

Rachel does, and she’s a wee bit disappointed that the Obama administration hasn’t made bolder and faster moves to help alleviate the crisis.

John Prendergast of the Enough Project and Tracy McGrady of the Houston Rockets are doing what they can to raise public awareness, give immediate, practical help, and set up links between American schools and refugee camps in Chad.

Cocktail Moment

This is all kinds of adorable. Meet the Dalai Lama meeting Memphis

 
 

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