RachelWatch: Public Frenemy

 
 

Today: Max Baucus goes along with the popular kids and Sarah Palin goes rogue.

The Public Option Is Dead, Long Live the Public Option!

People, it’s time to be gentle with each other. It is possible that some of your loved ones — the ones who don’t follow politics quite as intently — woke up this morning and looked under their pillows to see if the Health Care Reform Fairy left a public option.

When you explain what happened and how the Democrats voted, do it with kindness.

Rachel knows you can take it, though, Champ, so she unraveled the full story of how the Rockefeller and Schumer amendments went down.

As annoyed as I get with politicians who worry about their legacies when they should be in the moment, I do wish our elected representatives would occasionally think about being captioned “Bought and Paid for by the Insurance Companies” in the history books.

(Which still beats “Blocked Health Care Reform While Issuing Insane Twitters from Space.” Senator Grassley, I am looking at you.)

Senator Chuck Schumer (D – New York) stopped in for a chat, and was surprisingly optimistic. Way more than Rachel, though I’m not sure why that surprised me. If she still did that segment, I’d think she needs a talking down.

Conservademned

Rachel ran through the many arguments Conservadems are using to avoid voting for a public option, including “Whoops! Sprained my votin’ finger!” and “I’m just a boy who can’t say yes!”

But Senator Max Baucus (D – Montana) had the very silliest excuse: He would vote for a public option if he thought enough other people would vote for it too, but since they aren’t, he won’t.

It’s voting for health care reform, not joining the French Club, Senator Baucus. You don’t have to wait and see if the cool people do it first.

Besides, what if everyone followed that logic?

They’d pick up tidy sums from the health insurance industry? Oh.

Former DNC chair and former Governor of Vermont Howard Dean stopped in with an appropriate level of indignation.

Thank you, Governor Dean, for being one of the few people in politics willing to point out that just passing a bill doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve reformed anything.

The Truth about the Lies about ACORN

There’s blood in the water, so it doesn’t look like the ACORN de-funding frenzy is going to slow down any time soon.

If you’re into wagering on upcoming political tizzies, Rachel and Occidental College’s Peter Drier do some interesting handicapping on which organization might be targeted next.

Ms. Information

Rachel reported that China Moblie’s 500 customers got treated to a patriotic Jackie Chan ringtone for China’s birthday. And for some reason she acted like someone might not want that.

Please. The only way that ringtone could be more awesome would be if that axe gang from Drunken Master II popped out.

Derogueatory

Finally, Rachel reported that we can all stop worrying about our holiday shopping lists. Sarah Palin’s book, Going Rogue: An American Life, will be out this November.

And then Rachel tried to do some of that gotcha journalism where you spring traps for people and call ‘em out based on their words and deeds and I just wish she’d do us all a favor and quit makin’ things up, because soldiers.

Also then Rachel totally unfairly tried to bring up old facts about some dumb old ruining peoples’ careers and reputations scandal, which just shows to me that she doesn’t understand what real Americans are like or how Governors have huge actual responsibilities and have to just git in there and just get things done sometimes, even if it means wearing your waders and droppin’ your Gs because that’s just what mavericks do when they’re not busy reading anything, everything, and shootin’ at animals from helicopters and makin’ moose chili and say it ain’t so, Rachel, because I think that book is gonna be real important and maybe get Sarah Palin on TV, which Lord knows we need more of.

Maverick.

 
 

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