RachelWatch: Pigs in Space

 
 

Today: Ana Marie Cox and updates on Iran

Decision 1388

Rachel started off with the astonishing news that Iran had finished its sixth day of protests in spite of the fact that such demonstrations have been forbidden – and in fact the demonstrations have been getting bigger.

Reza Aslan of The Daily Beast returned to say that they’re only getting warmed up.

Vote Early, Vote Often

In another indication that the results of the Iranian election may be questionable, Rachel cited reports that the residents of at least 30 towns were so swept up in their civic duty that up to 141% of eligible voters cast votes.

Oh, President Ahmadinejad. “Throwing” an election is just an expression. You’re really only supposed to nudge them.

Next time, just use Diebold machines.

Three’s Company

Senator John Ensign’s (R – Nevada) affair looked like it was going to be pretty dull until people started following the money.

Then it got super, super creepy.

The always-entertaining Ana Marie Cox of Air America Radio joined Rachel for a hilarious segment on an affair that could have some very serious consequences.

I think the lack of subtlety and perspective that bothers me more than the affair itself. Doubling her salary? They couldn’t settle for a 10 or 20% salary bump with a couple of oddly generous holiday bonuses?

And the husband was on staff! Surely he would have been aware that her job performance hadn’t improved that much, right? Did he just go along with it and hope the affair continued long enough to rack up a sweet retirement plan? Or was he dumb enough to say, “You deserve it, Honey! You’ve been knocking those PowerPoint presentations out of the park lately!”

And which one of the two people having the affair thought it would be a swell idea to put the woman’s son on the payroll? And why didn’t the other one get squicked out beyond belief?

On the other hand, I think Ms. Cox has really hit on something with the idea that gay marriage is what eroded the straight marriages of Ensign and his staffer to the point where they were compelled to start frightening the office fax machine.

Elected representatives with impulse-control problems (and, let’s be honest, that’s a lot of you), I suggest you start supporting gay marriage and pushing to repeal DOMA immediately.

Then when you get caught, you can say that gay marriage made you do it. It’ll be like a free pass for your next three affairs.

Ms. Information

Rachel tipped us off to some possible shady fundraising by North Korea. Thanks to the hefty waterslides-and-massive-synchronized-birthday-dances budget, the country tends to find itself a little cash strapped for lesser items.

The country seems to be making a little cash through international insurance fraud. Evidence includes a defector saying that several large accidents may not have happened at all, and the fact that every single person in the country is currently wearing a neck brace.

Rachel also noted that the Democrats won Wednesday’s Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game, breaking an eight-year losing streak.

The Republican right field immediately demanded to see the pitcher’s birth certificate.

“He Deserves My Silence”

One lousy week with the Magical Cheney Mystery Tour off the air and Dubya feels like he has to jump in. Are they tag-teaming or what?

I don’t know why I thought the part where President Bush would be dignified about this would last longer, but I did. I also thought Arrested Development was too good to really get canceled. I can be very naïve.

Wayne Slater of the Dallas Morning News dropped in to talk about premeditated legacy polishing and destroy your hopes of getting a break from all this.

Moment of Geek

Awwww, Yeah! Looks like the Moment of Geek is here to stay.

Rachel brought us up to speed on the two lunar probes we’re sending out, one to look for possible locations for colonies and one to get shot into the moon’s South Pole and great jumping catfish, NASA, what are you thinking?!

Have none of you seen reruns of Space: 1999? So far you’re following the setup plot almost exactly. Please note: in the show, the lunar colony gets blown right into outer space.

(And if you haven’t seen Space: 1999, you need to. Really.)

Rachel welcomed astronomer Derrick Pitts to explain why we left astronaut debris all over the place and totally wrecked the mini-bar.

Essentially, they left behind anything that was extra weight that they didn’t want to bring back in a confined space. Yes, that too.

Cocktail moment

Turns out the battle over the California state budget isn’t a penis-measuring contest after all.

Governor and total stud horse Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) sent California Senate President Pro Tem Darrell Steinberg (D) a statue of bull testicles to help him make manly budget decisions or some damn thing.

Sigh. Just thank your deity of choice that the testicles were fake.

Have a great weekend.

Good weekend wishes also to the MSNBC staff who will be attending a party bartended by Rachel “Short Sharp Shots” Maddow after the President’s speech tonight. I am formally begging you to Twitter about it. The rest of us won’t tell a soul.

 
 

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