RachelWatch: Clothing Optional, Donations Mandatory

 
 

Today: Governor Tim Pawlenty, Senator Jim DeMint, and former Speaker Newt Gingrich have all made some bizarre decisions.

“I haven’t Done Anything Legally Wrong”

Rachel kicked off the show with the news that Senator John Ensign (R – Nevada) may have gotten a little closer to breaking the law than he originally suggested in the course of placating the husband of the staffer he was having sex with.

Which is hardly a huge surprise to anyone. When someone has to use a modifier between “I haven’t done anything” and “wrong,” it’s pretty much a given that there’s going to be some squirming ahead, right?

Rachel welcomed New York Times reporter Eric Lipton to try to help pinpoint the moment when Ensign just stopped giving a rat about Senate ethics rules.

I’d like to add a helpful rule of thumb for current and future politicians: Extortionists tend to be more difficult to satisfy when you won’t stop banging their spouses.

And that’s today’s RachelWatch One To Grow On.

Going Rogue

I finally found something I like about Senator Jim DeMint (R – South Carolina): He’s a huge Arrested Development fan. He must be, because why else would someone plan a trip to commit a little light treason?

South Carolinians, I don’t know DeMint that well. Is he too dumb to know that traveling to a foreign government to advise them to resist your own is frowned upon, or just too whackadoo to care?

I say we let DeMint go to Honduras.

But in honor of the new government he’s so fond of and their ousting of President Zelaya, let’s not let him back in.

Meet the New Boss, Same As the Old Boss

There was a time when Governor Tim Pawlenty (R – Minnesota) seemed to be sort of low-key, moderate, and sane, or at least he did to a non-Minnesotan.

But now, as Rachel noted, he’s gearing up for a Presidential run, and it’s time to go snowballs-out.

To that end, Pawlenty is putting together a crack team with top credentials and bottom-feeder ethics.

Yikes.

Ms. Information

Did you just feel something?

Rachel reported that Liberty University’s Liberty Counsel is asking its members to pray for liberals.

She noted that the main, uh, beneficiaries will be prominent people at whom the Liberty Counsel is a wee bit ticked, but there was also a call to pray for the “unknown liberal,” so there’s always a chance that you’ll hit the Blessings Powerball.

If you do and it’s right when the Rapture happens, try to be a good sport about it.

Rachel also gave us a glimpse of China’s 60th birthday, complete with an all-female military unit who marched in miniskirts and sported an intriguing combination of machine guns and go-go boots.

I was impressed. Not every country can pull off appearing in an old James Bond movie on its 60th birthday.

Programming Announcement

Rachel will be on Meet the Press this Sunday.

Your Meet the Press Mimosa Drinking Game word is “rogue.” Teams will be by to scrape you off the floor later.

Live Newt Girls

Oh, get ready for some awesome. And it’s not even Friday.

Newt Gingrich’s American Solutions for Winning the Future has been giving out some very prestigious awards to some carefully selected entrepreneurs.

I’m sure Newt had a personal hand in the selections. That’s why I can’t figure out where things went wrong.

 
 

Tags: , ,