RachelWatch: Cheney on the Bright Side of Torture

 
 

Today: Watch magnetic fields, sing along with the news, and theorize with Ana Marie Cox.

In Veep Trouble

Rachel started us off with yet more evidence that the Bush administration knew from the start that its “enhanced interrogation” techniques were torture, and that torture doesn’t produce reliable evidence. So now we can add a July 2002 memo to the Department of Defense to, you know, all of recorded history.

Rachel also noted that Dick Cheney has requested documents from the National Archives. He seems to think that if we just understood how terrific the information we got was, everyone would fall back in love with torture like they did with Barry White and Capri pants.

Retired Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson, former chief of staff to Colin Powell, joined Rachel for an interesting talk about how the hell this all happened when anyone who has so much as done an interview for a high school newspaper knows that torture doesn’t work as an interrogation technique.

One More Thing:

More people are vocally wondering how torture memo author Jay Bybee is managing to function as a Federal judge when he doesn’t seem to have any legal acumen. Or the sense of right and wrong of an average five-year-old. It seems like impeachment may soon be on the table, but Senator Harry Reid (D – Nevada) says we shouldn’t rush to judgment.

Because maybe “Go ahead and put a bug in the phobic guy’s tiny confinement box” is some sort of Masonic code for “Make sure his Cracker Jacks have an extra prize.”

Life of the Party?

The terrific Ana Marie Cox returned to chat with Rachel about why the Republican Party seems to be dealing with the country’s shift to the left by lurching hard to the right.

Cox theorized that many Republicans are having trouble re-thinking after the last several years of believing that they were winning because of hard-right talk. Which is kind of like Orrin Hatch assuming he gets re-elected because of the singing.

Ms. Information

John Rizzo was the guy at the CIA to whom the bug torture memo was addressed. Jonathan Friedman was a CIA lawyer who said that that the line where “enhanced interrogation” crossed into torture was “subject to perception,” and offered this helpful tip: “If the detainee dies, you’re doing it wrong.” Worst. LOLcat. Ever.

Anyway, Rachel wanted everyone to know that both of these fine gentlemen are still employed at the CIA. I think she’s hinting that she wants us to kick in for Employee of the Year plaques.

NASA has artists in residence! And I may have a new life goal. Rachel showed us bits of a Magnetic Movie from NASA’s space sciences laboratory. It will make you very interested in magnetic fields. And maybe a little bit frightened of them.

This Way Out?

Retired Army Colonel Douglas MacGregor joined Rachel to make you feel so lost and hopeless about Iraq, Afghanistan, and Pakistan that you’ll long for the simplicity and certainty of quantum physics.

MacGregor scoffed at the idea that invading forces would change the culture of a nation, and pointed out that increasing troops is probably the best way to mobilize more radicals.

Oh, and let’s not forget that Pakistan has nukes and a barely functioning central government.

To have retired Colonel Douglas MacGregor liven up your next sports banquet or children’s birthday party, contact his agency.

GOP in Exile

Michael Steele canceled an appearance with the Religious Action Center to deal with an “urgent family commitment.” Which turned out to be the premiere of the new Mike Tyson movie.

I am really, really hoping he decides the next new direction for the Republican Party involves facial tattoos.

News-ic Television

Friday is Anything Can Happen Day on TRMS, and this week Rachel and staff decided to serve up a slice of wonderful. The Gregory Brothers use an autotune to make the news magical. Enjoy.

 
 

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