RachelWatch: Applying the Lessons of History to Afghanistan

Today: Steve Buyer goes to the highest bidder and Bart Stupak is still an idiot.

The Case Against Major Nidal Hassan

Rachel started off with the news that accused Fort Hood shooter Major Nidal Hassan has been charged with 13 counts of premeditated murder.

So far it looks like Hasan acted alone, but the word “terrorist” is awfully tempting to some people.

Rachel was inspired to explore what the word actually means with law professor Jonathan Turley.

Bonus: Rachel does a frawesome Glenn Beck imitation.

Loose Lips

Rachel noted that she’s not the only one who was openmouthed over Congressman Pete Hoekstra’s (R – Michigan) inability to shut his.

Senior intelligence officials have also raised concerns about Hoekstra’s cakehole.

Chatty Petey remains the top Republican on the House Intelligence Committee.

Should be OK, though — tipping off dangerous people in advance makes intelligence work more exciting, like a James Bond movie! The intelligence community loves that.

JFK or LBJ

Rachel noted that after Ambassador Eikenberry strongly recommended against troop increases, President Obama rejected the four plans he had been considering and is now looking for an exit.

I am really looking forward to hearing wingnuts scream about how another eight years of our troops getting blown up over there would be better than looking “weak.”

Rachel welcomed Gordon Goldstein, author of Lessons in Disaster, to talk about maybe learning a few lessons and not having quite so big a disaster.

Stupak is as Stupak Does

Now that Bart Stupak (D – Michigan) has put the health care bill and the health of countless women in jeopardy with his sweeping antiabortion amendment, he’s trying to show everyone how powerful and studly he is.

Which is going to be a challenge, because during Countdown Rachel confiscated his balls and hung them from her trailer hitch.

Stupak has been threatening to take his 40 votes and go home, but not everyone counts those the same.

Ms. Information

Rachel brought us disturbing news of a teabag separation, which is always painful.

Turns out the Tea Party Patriots, who are backed by the lobbyists at FreedomWorks, can’t stand those mainstream Republican sellouts over at the Americans for Prosperity–backed Tea Party Express.

The Patriots are suing their founder, Amy Kremer, who went Express, and both groups are suing Molly Pazderka, 7, for throwing an actual but non-branded tea party with her stuffed animals.

Kremer is firing back via her blog and, presumably, hand-lettered signs with questionable syntax.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when I learned that the Tea Party folks are hot-tempered and difficult to get along with. Must be sunspots or something.

Speaking of people with questionable judgment attacking each other, a fellow birther has filed an affadavit against Queen Birther Orly Taitz claiming that she tried to get him to perjure himself, and Orly Taitz protested outside Fox News because… I’m not sure.

I think Bill O’Reilly called her a name and it was a way to maybe get on television.

Do Tell

Congressman Barney Frank (D – Massachusetts) told the Washington Blade that there is at last a plan to kill the monumentally dumb Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell rule.

The clip is short and sweet.

And repealing this ridiculous policy will be even sweeter.

Buyer’s Remorse

Oh, my God, this is marvelous.

Enjoy several side-splitting minutes of Congressman Steve Buyer (R – Indiana) doing some hilariously inept lying. It’s just fantastic.

Did it really not occur to him to test out his cover stories before he went into the national television interview?

Well, I guess he was distracted. What with his charitable foundation deciding to move the very same day the reporter was calling with questions and all.

In a way, Buyer achieves a certain shabby magnificence in his brazen corruption. Why didn’t he just do the interview in a Boss Hogg outfit?

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