Rachel started us off with AIG CEO Edward Liddy getting dogpiled by the House Financial Services Committee. Liddy wisely wore his protective cup to the hearings.
Rachel gave us a quick rundown of the more hypocritical grandstanders, including Senator Mitch McConnell, who — oopsie! — opposed executive pay limits in the bailout.
She also called out Senator Bob Corker, who I must defend because his name is Bob Corker. Clearly he is not a real person. He is a high-living, bathtub-gin-drinking, dim-but-lovable character in a Roaring 20’s novel, and thus cannot be expected to understand the ramifications of financial deregulation and collapse.
Rachel pointed out that the argument for deregulation is that it generates wealth. (Well, as long as you count temporary fake “wealth” based on wild overvaluing and the assumption that what goes up will never come down. You’re better off investing in Leprechaun gold.) But the fake wealth gets skimmed off and pocketed by the guys at the top right before the wealth in your pension fund turns back into gumdrops.
David Weidner of Marketwatch believes that re-regulation will happen, but explained that there’s a lot of flow between Washington regulators and Wall Street guys.
Rachel wondered who has the financial chops to regulate without being “infected by Wall street culture,” and spreadsheet action star and attempted Bernie Madoff whistleblower Harry Markopolos came up. YES!!! I want to see Markopolos kicking in some doors.
Scrub. Rinse. Repeat.
The new administration got used to it! President Obama endorsed the U.N. declaration for the decriminalization of homosexuality.
President Bush refused to sign the declaration because he was so terribly, terribly concerned about States’ Rights. Yes, I recall Bush’s deep personal commitment to decentralizing power.
This Way Out?
Rachel reported that the military is no longer banning the media from covering the flag-draped coffins of fallen soldiers and is cutting way down on the Hotel California system of military retention.
So everything’s gonna be cool now as we ramp our military forces down and — oh, right, Afghanistan
Nobody knows what’s up with Obama’s Afghaniplan yet. He’s taking some heat for that, but I’m glad he’s not dashing off a quick ‘n’ easy response for the nation that specializes in sending major world empires home broke, weeping, and unable to stop chasing the dragon.
Combat journalist Dexter Filkins joined Rachel to totally bum you out about how long this is going to take to untangle. He also talked about how ludicrously corrupt Afghanistan’s government is at every single level.
Rod Blagojevich? I think I hear the next phase of your political career calling.
Sure, the government of Afghanistan may be corrupt, but for sheer for Wild West craziness, Russia will really give you a run for your money. “Vote for Lugovoi and Maybe He Won’t Give You Radiation Poisoning” isn’t a pithy campaign slogan, but it tests well across an unusually wide range of demographics.
Rachel also gave us a list of members of the Bush administration who have been sent to the slammer. So far they’ve made it up to eight. Only 130 to go to match the Reagan administration! We miss you, Gipper!
The Conservadems are back! Because there is no better time to oppose your party’s policies than when it is finally popular and in a position to actually get laws passed. Did you guys hire AIG’s PR firm?
Never forget: If you really piss her off, Rachel will put your name on the Crawl of Shame.
Dick Cheney continues to fill his new-found free time by visiting the home of every single American to lurk under the bed and whisper hints of doom just as they’re falling asleep.
Colonel Lawrence Wilkerson has had enough of this and several other varieties of bullpuckey. Wilkerson is the former chief of staff to Colin Powell and five-time Grand Champion of the national Sound Just Like Everyone Hopes a Real Colonel Will Sound Contest. Enjoy.
GOP in Exile
George W. Bush is writing a book on his toughest decisions, so that there will be “an authoritarian voice” saying what happened.
I guess he’s better with the nuances of big words than we thought.
Rachel went power-mad and scored an interview with Chad Lindsey, genuine hero and off-Broadway actor with the happiest agent in the whole wide world.
Lindsey was humble about his amazing rescue, wisely avoiding the Peter Brady swelled-head trap. He was also agreeably honest about the fact that it all happened so fast that he didn’t remember a lot of it.
Take those upcoming roles and enjoy the hell out of them, Mr. Lindsey. You’ve more than earned them. And in the meantime, enjoy Rachel’s frank admiration of people who do good things. Aww.
Until tomorrow, remember that not everyone can be a hero, but it’s easy to become someone’s grinder.
And don’t forget to check under your bed with a flashlight before you go to sleep.