Across the Page: Bisexual Books
The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe: Quips, Tips, and Lists for Those who Go Both Ways by Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski (Alyson Books)
Though the title of Nicole Kristal and Mike Szymanski's new book is called The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe, it is actually, as they write in the preface, for "fence-sitters, chameleons, switch-hitters, pansexuals, omnisexuals, whatevers, and all those who loathe labels."
Nominated for Lambda's inaugural bisexual book award, The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is funny, informative and insightful. Divided into useful categories — Beginner, Intermediate and Advanced — the chapters explore the world of bisexuality from every possible perspective.
Kristal and Szymanski's lists incorporate the practical "You're Probably Bisexual If" to the hilarious "Bisexual Myths We Wish Were True" (e.g., "everyone's bisexual when they're drunk") and include helpful questionnaires such as "The R-U-Bi?"
The book also contains a history of bisexuality, seduction tips, bi figures ("A 2006 California State University study shows that women are 27 percent more likely than men to be attracted to the same sex") and a catalog of bi animals (add dogs, oysters and flamingos to the list) and cartoon figures (Popeye, of course).
One of the more interesting chapters breaks down how to come out to different people (for example, "radical-right dad" or "hippie mom") in your life. The suggestions range from "do consider not telling him at all" to "do tell her anytime" and combine advice with handy facts: "Do mention that Leviticus, aside from condemning homosexuality, also supports the notion of selling women into slave labor."
The Bisexual's Guide to the Universe is a sexy, comprehensive and entertaining read regardless of where you rate on the Kinsey scale. (And by the way, most people fall somewhere in the middle.)
Henry and June: From "A Journal of Love" — The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin (1931–1932) by Anaïs Nin (Harcourt)
"The impetus to grow and live intensely is so powerful in me I cannot resist it." Thus begins Henry and June, Anaïs Nin's chronicle of the year she met and fell in love with writer Henry Miller and his wife, June.
She begins her diary in Paris. Married to a man named Hugo, their relationship is somewhat open as Nin searches for opportunities to evolve — in her body, mind and art. Henry is aware of Nin's attraction to his wife, but when June returns to the States, the two begin an intense affair.
Nin's prose about both lovers is lyrical and exhaustive. "I've met Henry Miller," she writes in December. "He's a man whom life makes drunk, I thought. He is like me."
Later, when she returns from meeting June, she writes: "Her beauty drowned me. As I sat in front of her I felt that I would do anything mad for her, anything she asked of me. Henry faded. She was color, brilliance, strangeness."
In letters to Henry and June as well as inspired diary entries, Nin is candid about her emerging sexuality and examines her lovers and herself with a meticulous eye. She illustrates the beauty and fluidity of her sexuality in several passages, including: "I need two lives. I am two beings"; "How can I deceive myself about the extent of Henry's love when I understand and share his feelings about June?"; "In a different way, I am devoted to both, a part of me goes out to each of them."
Nin's analysis of how men and women differ as lovers is also intriguing. "Men need other things besides a sexual recipient. They have to be soothed, lulled, understood, helped, encouraged and listened to." With women, on the other hand, she writes: "I have wanted to possess her as if I were a man, but I have also wanted her to love me with the ways, the hands, the senses that only women have."
Like life, the narrative takes several unexpected turns, and Nin records them all. While striving to understand her identity as a sexual being and an artist, however, she applies one important lesson: "Writers make love to whatever they need."
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thanks for an awesome literary article.
i love this website and, since discovering it, have come back on almost a daily basis. but as much as i love bashing modern pop culture, what i've often wished for was more articles on the rich literature exploring the subject of sexuality.
this article gives me my dosage. :0)
i absolutely love anais nin. she's an absolute prose artist. she turns simple black and white words into beautiful lyrics. one of the main criticisms about her diaries is that it is dangerous to treat those writings as non-fiction and take her on her word for anything -- her relationships, her experiences, her ideas. nin kept a daily journal, yes -- but what she would do is go back days, months, even years later to edit and re-edit those diary entries. her diaries were in a continual state of revision. these critics believe that the continual revisions of her diary gave her a chance to embellish her diary entries to the point where it's uncertain whether you can rely on her narrative as truth or fiction.
fiction or non-fiction, i still love her words. thanks for highlighting one of the more underappreciated english writers of the the twentieth century.
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"It's not the same. I don't
"It's not the same. I don't care how close you are to your adopted son or beloved stepdaughter, the love you have for your nonbiological child isn't the same as the love you have for your own flesh and blood."
My guess (and it’s just a guess, I don’t have kids) is that significant portion of parents identify with this statement, but would never admit it. That’s not to say that all, or even most, feel this way. I think this might be another one of those instances where society simple refuses to look at things objectively for fear of what they might see. You know, like when people say racism really isn’t an issue any more, though I’m not comparing the two.
Bisexual Guide...Universe
Thank you, Afterellen
Thank you Afterellen, for being so bi-inclusive
On the adopted v. biological children issue, Angelina Jolie seems to be the exception that proves the rule, as she's said she feels closer to her adopted kids because they've struggled through more , and Shiloh seems born to a life of privilege. She also referred to her as a "blob".
Movie version of Henry & June
The film, starring the beautiful Uma Thurman as June, is quite delicious, but leaves me quite wanting when it comes to the sex scenes. It gets interrupted all too soon:) Perhaps there is another version. I haven't read the book but probably will now. Thanks for the review.
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Nonbiological children
"It's not the same. I don't care how close you are to your adopted son or beloved stepdaughter, the love you have for your nonbiological child isn't the same as the love you have for your own flesh and blood."
As soon as I saw statement I thought of what they say in group counseling, "Use 'I' statements." Then I saw that the article's author brought up the usage of 'I' too.
I was hoping that her stepson never sees this article, but he probably already senses that she does not love him (or at least as much as a child with her genetic code). I know that many people feel the same way, but I cannot understand it.
Of course, maybe she will feel different later because when a child is this young, she is be able to see what she wants to see. She can focus on what the child and herself have in common. When the child is a teenager like Solomon, she may feel differently.
Good but more please!
Thanks for your article. I enjoyed reading your comments, but it would be great if you could do a little more analysis than recaps (you start off strong with the first book, but the Bisexual Guide and Henry and June reviews are not commentary--just summations).
Also, not sure that most people fall in the middle of the Kinsey scale, or that we should be asserting that--there's no real way to know. It seems to me that one of the big problems with both sides of the argument ("everyone is bi" vs. "bi now, gay later") is that stating things as such is too simplifying, and too polarizing. People are just people. Sometimes we can be surprised by our own sexuality, but there's no way to know what's going on in other people's hearts.
Oh, and where's a review for Look Both Ways?
Love the article on thought-provoking books
The Bisexual Guide does look really interesting. I'm bisexual and it would be interesting to learn more, I'm just not sure if I could stand to read it because from reviews like this one, it seems like "the complete idiot's guide to bisexuality." Or possibly similar to Cosmo, with the quizzes and such. Does anyone who has read the book think that it is more than a coffee-table/conversation-starting book? Please let me know. The Nin book seems also very interesting, but disjointed due to the fact that its supposedly a "real story" and unfolded in real time with all the messiness that entails.
The article also featured interesting commentary from the writer who reported that she felt less love towards her nonbiological children. Its also true that some parents may feel only revulsion for their biological children as well, which is what Heather also mentioned. Its interesting to read about the contrasts in parental behavior and also read people's comments. I'm probably interested as opposed to completely upset at the writer who is also a mother because I'm not a parent yet.
I think the article was awesome, and I look forward to more thought-provoking book reviews on afterellen.
Step-children vs. Adopted children
How one would feel toward the already-semi-grown child of a new spouse is an entirely different matter from that of how one would feel toward a baby or young child that one has deliberately chosen to adopt and raise. A lesser form of love could reasonably be expected in the former case, but not in the latter, for then a strong desire to care for children would be a necessity.
great great article
Thanks...
for the reviews ... I'm especially interested in Rebecca Walker's book, as a bisexual who feels similarly apprehensive about having a child ...
I would love it if someone would write a book about how to meet other bisexuals :) Even in a big city like NYC, we seem like a hidden population.