“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.02): One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

And finally. Siiiigh. I almost can’t even write about this. Paige and Emily are too in love. They mean too much to each other. It is actually physically painful to see them so happy because this is Rosewood and this is TV and there is no way on Joss Whedon’s green earth that they are going to make it out of this season in tact or alive but they make me hope in miracles as I have scarcely hoped before. They’ve fought for this happiness, together and by themselves, for four seasons. Oh, run away now, you lambs! Run for your lives!

Right. So. Paige comes over to take care of Emily when she gets home from the hospital and Emily confesses that she smashed her head into the pool wall because she lost count of her strokes because she was doped up on pain pills on purpose. Paige asks for the zillionth time why Emily insists on keeping this stuff from her, and Emily is as desperate and as heartbroken as she has ever been. She says, verbatim, “Because I don’t want to live in that space anymore. And I don’t want you to live there either. I want to live in that room on your computer, and I want to be with you, only you. Away from this town. Just you and me together. Safe and starting a real life.”

Paige brushes Emily’s hair out of her eyes, tells her they’ve already started their real life together, and gently pulls her in for a kiss that is really a promise. Emily has never wanted anything the way she wants Paige. And Paige has never fought for anything the way she’s fought for Emily. If I had a time machine, the first stop I’d make is my 15-year-old self’s bedroom. I’d give her all four seasons of this show and say, “This is everything you need to know.” And then I’d get back in my time machine and travel to four years ago and find the version of myself who scoffed at Trish Bendix and said, “I’m so sure I’ll ever find a reason to put my heart into this silly show” and punch myself right in the face.

Anyway, speaking of destroying your own, the Risen Mitten has baked herself a delicious roasted parrot, which she then feeds to her own parrot, Tippi DiLaurentis.

Next week: Somebody else will be recapping this show because I’ll be in Radley clutching a photo of Paige McCullers to my chest and whistling the Paily love theme.

As always, the most enormous thanks to my screencapping partner Maggie (@MargaretRosey) who sent me a poster-sized photo of Ali’s parrot this morning with the caption, “Tippi want a lawyer!”

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