“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.21): The Scarlet Letter

Previously on Pretty Little Liars, Spencer staged an intervention to tell Aria she was dating Ali’s Board Shorts, but it turned into an intervention for Spencer because she was addicted to Adderall. Shana fled Rosewood after driving Emily all over town for secret meetings with Ali and coaxing Emily into retrieving some of the cash Ali had stashed here and there and in every porcelain doll head in Pennsylvania. Hanna made a move on Travis from the tow truck company, but Ashley intervened and took her to smash some plates instead of some hearts. And Ezra finally revealed to Aria that he dated Ali, knew who Aria was before he started dating her, and has been writing a “True Crime” novel about Ali’s fake death for the last two years, a thing that required an NSA level of secret surveillance on unsuspecting people, including all the Liars. There was a ski lift. Faces were made.

Aria has assembled the Liars at her house to reveal to them that Ezra is not A, but is, in fact, the creepiest guy they have ever met in a town that requires proof of extradimensonal creepiness before it allows you to become a citizen. They listen intently as she explains his “True Crime” novel and how he’s been spying on them all these years and how he thinks one of them killed Alison. Emily is the first one to say out loud, “So you mean he’s been watching A torture us all this time, but he hasn’t done one single goddamn thing to intervene and help us?” And Aria says, “Yep, because he didn’t love me.”

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Now here’s the rub but I don’t want to belabor it because clearly I’ve got other stuff to write about in this episode. More than once, Aria says that Ezra didn’t love her, and then offers up various proofs, like how he watched an omnipresent demon ninja nearly kill her on multiple occasions, how he’s going ahead and publishing that book, and blah blah blah. She’s grasping for any sliver of evidence that he loved her, which is normal, and maybe he did. But it doesn’t matter. He is a guy who dated a 15 year old, then knowingly seduced a 16 year old and engaged in a relationship with her, while secretly spying on her and her best friends (for two years!), while abusing the position of power he had over all three of them.

So when Aria goes to bed and remembers the day they met, and she puts the new frame around the memory, she jumps up and vomits. Poor lamb. (Lucy Hale acts this shit out of this episode.)

Spencer’s mom and dad have hologrammed themselves into the Hastings family kitchen this morning, taking time from their busy Out of Town doings to persuade Spencer to go to rehab. She’s worried that with rehab and Radley on her record, she’ll never get into college, and any other set of parents in the world, they’d go, “That is the least of our worries right now, sweetheart; the most important thing is for you to get well.” But the Hastings’ are like, “You make a good point: Not getting accepted into an Ivy is worse than death. Good luck with your pill habit!”

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Rosewood high lockers: Hanna sees Travis milling around in a suit and when she presses him, he says he’s going to court because the stuff Wilden was using to blackmail his dad has finally come out, and the cops have arrested him. Spencer finds some uppers in her locker, a gift from A, and when Emily offers to take them and dispose of them, Spencer demures and says it would be better if she puts them in her purse and carries them around town and throws them away when she’s ready. Emily goes, “Yeah, that makes sense, in terms of addiction.” Spencer doing Jedi mind tricks on everyone this morning! I guess some of that adrenalized hyperreality is still in her system!

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Emily barely has time to mention Shana’s new plans for Ali’s money when the Liars spot Aria marching by, thunder exploding in a personal cloud over her head and hair crackling with electricity, eyeballs as big as the moon. They try to stop her from smashing through Mr. Fitz’s door and demanding that the substitute teacher produce Ezra right this second. When the sub just stands there looking hornswoggled, Aria crashes back through the door and stomps down the hall shouting, “LIAR AND A COWARD!” She doesn’t want the Liars to take her home! She doesn’t want a hug! She wants to find Ezra Fitz and run him through with an enchanted sword!

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