“Pretty Little Liars” recap 4.12: The Chamber of Secrets

Could The Grunwald not have tapped back into her psychic powers to find Ali after she disappeared from her car that first time she got murdered? Could The Grunwald not have tapped back into her psychic powers at any point over the last four years to warn the Liars about all the times they were going to die? COULD THE GRUNWALD NOT HAVE TAPPED INTO HER POWERS TO KNOW EMILY WAS GETTING SAWED IN HALF IN HER OWN BACKYARD TWO MINUTES AGO? The Grunwald does not have time to answer these questions because behold! she is The Grunwald! The Liars want to know why Ali hasn’t contacted them if she’s still alive on account of obviously she can trust them and The Gunwald, she just cackles because: 1) Hello, they have all see Ali’s ass multiple times over these years, stealing their shit, dragging them out of danger, kissing their faces, so obviously she has contacted them, and 2) The Grunwald is a witch, a real one, so it just feels good to cackle.

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She tells them to scram, that they’re not going to Ravenswood history night because Gas Mask is following them to Ali, instead of the other way around. And then she turns on the spot and disappears into the mist.

Emily says “soothsayer” once The Grunwald is gone, which is my favorite part of the entire episode, Emily conceiving the word “soothsayer” in her head and then saying it out of her mouth. The Liars try to figure out if The Grunwald is telling the truth or if she’s crazy, so apparently a lifetime with Mona Vanderwaal still hasn’t taught them that those two things aren’t mutually exclusive. Are they going to Ravenswood history night or not? Yes. Yes, they think they will. They get to wear costumes. What’s another night of watching Ali get killed when costumes are involved.

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From the shadows, a dude watches them. He watches them and he walks across the street and he tromps up a flight of stairs and he clomps into Boardshorts’ lair and he sees it’s been ransacked and he smashes the closet door with his fist … and he is Ezra de Mimsy Porpington Fitzgerald!

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Maaaan, what a season. Thank you guys for allowing me to recap it for you. #BooRadleyVanCullen is the best thing on the whole entire internet, and that’s down to you! And a forever thank you to my screencpaping partner Maggie (@margaretrosey), who says I can officiate her wedding one day, which I will of course be doing in an Alison DiLaurentis mask and Tippi the Bird crown.

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