“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.06): Ravenswoon

Hanna opens about sixteen different secret compartments in her jewelry box and makeup cases and hands over the hard drive from Wilden’s car. Then she goes downstairs and stands around sadly watching her parents juggling hot frying pans and accusing each other of various criminal activities some more. Emily puts the video on a CD and takes it to the police station, her fingerprints all over that bitch, and sneaky-drops it on Roma Maffia’s desk. Then she returns the drive to Caleb with her apologies for being unwilling to feel him up on Hanna’s behalf.


Caleb’s like, “It’s going to be OK, we’ve got the truth on our side!” And Emily’s like, “Yes, good point, the truth has always been so helpful to us in the past!”

Spencer chases down Emily in the hallway and goes at her like the winds of a Category Hastings hurricane. One breath, no pauses: “The girls at that sorority house said probably Ms. Grunwald hid in that murder room which means she’s probably the one Ali kept calling over and over from Hilton Head that summer which means she was probably Ali’s most trusted confidante which means she probably knows where Ali hid her Horcruxes so if we can just track her down and shake her down we probably can start destroying the pieces of Ali’s soul she stashed all around Pennsylvania and then we’ll kill her pet snake with a mannequin leg and she’ll probably be gone for good and then we can finally all go to sleep for the first time in two years!” Emily scowls, says, “That’s a lot of probablys, Spencer, even for you.”


Spencer drops her head and walks away and Emily only has a few seconds to feel like a dick because she hears beautiful violin music coming from that room where Noel Kahn and Aria one time sang and played the guitar as awkwardly as possible in each other’s faces. It’s Shana, of course. She’s a master violinist. She and Jenna play enchanted flute/violin duets down by the pier sometimes because they like to watch the mice drown themselves. Emily falls under her spell for just a second and then snaps out of it when she thinks about Shana’s fingers playing Paige like a stringed instrument. She turns around and punches a hole through a locker.

Aria is trying to enjoy a quiet moment of journaling in the hooligan-filled halls of her high school when Mike galumphs on over and says, in slow-motion, “Hoooowwwww coouuulllld youuuu hooook uuuuup wiiiiith Cooooonnnoooor laaaaast niiiiight?” It’s like he’s speaking whale or something. It’s weird. Aria stomps off to the boys’ locker room and starts shouting down Connor about how he made a move and she dismissed him and get your facts straight, asshole. But then Connor turns the tables real fast: “Girl, everybody knows you blew Mr. Fitz’s whistle. What’s the matter? You can’t get off unless a guy understands the symbolism of the green light on Daisy’s East Egg dock or something?” Aria flips around to see Ezra standing there, which makes the situation at least twice as embarrassing.


She blitzes past them and goes to have a talk with some stairs about her feelings. Ezra’s spiritual gift is tracking down Aria on stairwells while she’s silhouetted against giant windows. Half their makeouts have occurred in just such a place. He wants to help her and she wants to be helped by him, which pisses her off because she doesn’t want to need it and she absolutely cannot have it so she shouts that he can’t be the guy who bakes her cakes and puts her back together anymore.

You know I love to give Aria a hard time, but she’s stronger than I’ll ever be. That’s twice in like a week that she’s given up her greatest source of comfort to keep her comfort-er safe. In your life, how many people are you truly known by? For Aria, it’s Ella and it’s Ezra and it’s the Liars, too, but they’re always getting exploded. Ella and Ezra are the two people who knew her in her bones and make her the most important thing in their lives. And she pushed them away to keep them from getting hurt. And now she’s the most alone person on this whole show. Willingly. That’s some selfless courage.

It’s easy to clown on Aria, but she can’t help it that she’s only ever been locked inside a box with a corpse once in her life, you know?

Pages: 1 2 3 4 5 6

Tags: , , , , , , , ,