“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.06): Ravenswoon

 
 

Emily and Aria rush to dime out Spencer to Hanna, but she’s kind of got her hands full with other stuff right now. The whole time Aria is on the phone with Hanna — again: landline, because her parents seized her iPhone — Emily is aggressively whispering at Aria about what she needs to tell Hanna to do. And it’s not the same thing she was saying this morning, by the way. This morning, it was like, “Tell your parents about A so no one has to go to prison.” Now it’s, “Hand over that video footage from Wilden’s car because: 1) It puts more suspects in play than just your mom, and 2) it implicates Shana Costumeshop in some way, and that bitch has got to be destroyed.”

15

Hanna has to hang up the phone because Tom needs the line to call any old person who will listen so he can tell them what a crazy psycho bitch his ex-wife is. Finally, Ashley just cracks with answers, which Hanna overhears from the hallway: Yes, she stole the gun. Because yes, Wilden was blackmailing her. And yes, that’s why she came to Tom for money. And yes, that’s why she took the gun into the woods to meet him. But before she could shoot him — and you bet your bottom dollar he deserved her wrath — he grabbed the gun from her and she bolted.

20

Caleb drops by for a visit, but having the people who love Hanna best and know her most and also know a thing or two about doing stupid shit with a gun near the scene of a murder is not an appealing proposition to Tom and Ashley. They kick him out. Hanna is like, “Do you not understand that he only has six more episodes before he goes to Ravenswood forever?! Do you not think a little second base fondling might do me some good right now?!” They do not and they do not.

Aria has agreed to tutor Connor the Coffee Boy, but he’s not interested in her for her awesome Faulkner zingers. He wants to have sexual intercourse with her. She pushes off his kiss, very kindly, and explains that while it is true that the May/December thing really gets her going, it only works when she’s not the authority figure. So “Go sports, and all that” but also “Get out of here, little kid.”

25

Emily stops by Hanna’s under the pretense of dropping off her homework, and the main way you know that Ashley and Tom don’t know their daughter’s life is they totally believe that she takes Physics. Hanna is pacing around her room at this point, trying to convince herself not to jump out of the window. Emily gives her a hug and then launches into her thing again about the video footage from Wilden’s car: “Just give it to me and I’ll give it to the police. I know it looks bad because it shows your mom driving over Wilden with her car, but it also shows Jenna and Shana dragging him off into the woods later on. Shana, OK? With her uninjured shoulder and her history of making out with Paige and her whole … face. Let me have that video and Shana loses and I win. I mean, everybody wins. We all win. I’m not Spencer.”

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