“Pretty Little Liars” recap 3.16: Girl-on-Girl Talk


Hanna is psyched on an internship interview with the hottest designer in Philly, so she asks Caleb to help her choose something appropriate to wear. He’s like, “Seriously? Honey, until like two months ago, all of the clothes I own were wrapped in a kerchief and tied to a stick, so I could move from library ventilation system to library ventilation system without any hassle.” He relents because who can say no to that face? They agree on the dress, but decide Hanna should model it for him, just to be sure. As soon as she steps out of the room, he calls up the only other person in the state of Pennsylvania that seems to understand the perpetual shitshow the Liars live inside and makes plans to start a Sane Persons Club. (No Hyperadrenalized Mutants or Fake Cousin Lesbian Stalkers Allowed.) Hanna overhears him, of course, and marches back into the room demanding that he does not do anything as stupid as he did in the winter finale: “We don’t need another ‘lighthouse incident.’ All I want is for you to give me fashion advice, do me right in a tent in a park, and not die, OK?” He agrees to stay out of it while covertly texting Mystery Sane Person about how he’s all up in it.

Toby is naked. He’s just finished showering at Spencer’s place and so he is naked and talking about, “Hey babe, sorry I’m so naked.” Spencer goes, “Just to reiterate the conversation we had last time you were naked, you never need to apologize for being naked.” She also offers to sew up the hole in his pants pocket because she wants to brag about being good at everything and also because she secretly like to be domestic with him. They lament that they won’t be able to see each other tonight, on their one year anniversary, because Spencer has to go to some awards dinner for her dad. Veronica pops her head in, gives Toby’s nakedness an appreciative once-over, and corroborates Spencer’s dinner story.

Man, that is the most high-stakes set up PLL has ever given us, which is saying something since it’s a show based around the perpetual murder of teenage girls. You’ve got Toby lying to Spencer and Spencer lying to Toby and Caleb lying to Hanna and Meredith lying to Ella (while murdering Aria) and Big A getting ready to bring the heat and Mona getting ready to deliver a new brand of vengeance.

Meanwhile, for breakfast over at Ezra Fitzgerald’s Cake N’ Cuddle Emporium:

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