“Pretty Little Liars” recap 3.15: A Walk in the Woods

At school, Hanna corners Lucas in the courtyard and starts demanding some answers. It’s the least he can do, really, since she knows he was the A in Harold’s office last night and by keeping his secret she’s keeping him out of Spencer’s torture chamber. Lucas tries to do that Lucas thing where he says something cryptic and makes a sad face and runs off howling into the night, but Hanna presses him. He’s like, “We’re not safe.” And Hanna sighs and rolls her eyes and goes, “No One To Save Ali From Evil, I get it. But what the hell with you specifically?” Lucas confesses that yes, it was him in the office, and yes, he was looking for a thing, but more importantly, he is the one who blew up Meredith because he was trying to blow up Mona.

Which: Lucas left that note, then? About getting some things from the supply shed? He left the note for Mona, but Mona knew the shed was rigged with dynamite, so she passed the note to Meredith, thereby nearly killing her to prove herself to the Liars while also framing the Liars? Honestly, Mona is probably the one that planted the idea in Lucas’ head that he should try to blow her up. Machaevlli: watching this show, taking notes from Mona, just, “Daaaamn, girl.”

After class, Emily asks Paige for an escort to work and also invites her to attend a “party in the woods.” (Last week, Emily wasn’t even allowed to go to the bathroom by herself in her own house, and now she’s totally allowed to gallivant all over the haunted depths of Roswood’s Forbidden Forest — just so long as she makes it home by midnight.) Paige plays it like her parents have her on lockdown, due to the fact that this town’s body count seems to be in direct correlation to the number of dates goes on with Emily. Emily smirks, says, “I know. Parents, right?” And Paige is all, “Ha ha ha. Yeah. Parents. No, but seriously, Emily, you get why you should be wearing body armor at all times and staying away from windows and doors and literally never leaving your house again until you go away to college, don’t you?” In fact, Emily does not get that, and so she smiles her best smile at Paige and asks Paige to come to come with her to the party, and because Paige would hold that girl’s hand and walk straight into the pits of hell, she says yes.

And, I mean, there’s a part of you that’s thinking it’s the most ridiculous thing, but there’s another part of you that knows if Emily Fields looked at you the way she looks at Paige, you, too, would jump off the Empire State Building talking the whole way down about, “Psh, yeah, of course I can fly.”

Ella Montgomery, ladies! Ella Montgomery is back! Aria dips into her mom’s classroom to have a casual chat about the precise details of her parents’ whereabouts the night Ali was murdered, something left heretofore undiscussed, but right now, in this classroom, in the middle of the school day, two years after the murder of Ali, apropos of nothing, seems like just the right time to talk it over. Ella is like, “Honey, you know, I never did apologize for not answering your calls the morning after Ali disappeared. It’s just that the night before, the night Ali was murdered, your father insisted I get so drunk I couldn’t stand up or stay awake and I had a hell of a hangover that next morning. Like, not even the kind of hangover you get from just wine, but more like the kind you would get if you mixed alcohol with ambien and roofies then got hit over the head with a frying pan.”

Meredith watches from the doorway and twirls her handlebar mustache.

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