“Pretty Little Liars” recap (3.12) — Sleeping with the Enemy

PRESENT (DOOMS)DAY:

God, this is so well acted I don’t even know. So, Spencer and Aria try to comfort Hanna as Caleb is loaded into an ambulance. Looks like Lyndon James fired off a shot that struck Caleb in the chest before he died his dumb ass dead. Hanna is inconsolable and really, truly, the only person who understands is Emily. She can’t hear the police questions over the sound of Hanna’s heart breaking, so Paige — who explains to some more police that Lydon snagged her on the way to Ali’s grave after she received an anonymous text threatening to hurt Emily — sees what’s happening and swoops in to distract the detectives. Emily rushes to Hanna and they embrace across the police tape.

Spencer and Paige stare at each other in a way that’s full of sorrow and understanding and residual anger and will launch a hundred thousand McHastings fanfictions in the off season. Just you wait and see.

Roswood Hospital. While Caleb is still in with famed cardiothoracic neurosurgeon Dr. Wren, the Liars get a call from “A” who just wants to say thanks, and that she owes Emily a solid. Even more distressing is the fact that that Veronica shows up, all, “Emily, I know it must suck that you and your girlfriend were kidnapped by a stalker claiming to be the cousin of one of your dead girlfriends and so then you had to kill him to death to save both of your lives, but I think the important thing to remember is that you helped Garrett Reynolds get out of jail.” And indeed she has dragged him along to the hospital to smile smarmily at Spencer.

At Radley, the most glorious thing. OK, so Mona’s deal was that she was trying to frame Paige as Maya’s killer. She planted Maya’s cell phone on her and arranged that midnight meet-up with the Liars and Paige so she could call the phone and the Liars would be like, “Gah! Murderer!” Like, just for giggles, she was doing that shit. Or maybe to get Garrett out of jail, she was doing it. Maybe for both. But the plan got thwarted by Nate’s whole kidnapping machinations. So she’s walking with new “A,” just sort of yawning about how she would have stayed in and read Glamour tonight if she’d known some other nutter was doing her dirty work for her. She tells new “A” to get Maya’s cellphone back from Paige and that she’ll see him real soon.

New “A” is like, “You got it, boss.” And then he turns toward the camera and he is Toby Cavenaugh. TOBY CAVENAUGH. BOO RADLEY VAN CULLEN IS NEW A! Is he the one who ran Caleb’s mom off the road? Is the the one who sipped vodka from the same freezer as Ali’s body? Oh man, is he the one who rescued Spencer from that belfry that time? Has he been poking at the Liars while poking Spencer? Good twist. Gooooood twist. I originally thought he was doing triple-agent duty, but now I want to think he’s been A-Teaming it all along, only he accidentally fell in love with Spencer along the way. Either way, Spencer has been shrieking about Paige’s guilt for so long and now it turns out she is the one who’s been sleeping with the enemy. It’s just the kind of poetic justice she’d love to tackle in an AP English essay. 

You thought the most amazing thing Toby was ever going to do with his body is that time he threw his “talk to the hand” hand at Hanna, but that display of fine motor skills is nothing — nothing! — on the way he skulks up the road in his A-uniform, finally breaking into a run and swerving around the corner with his hands flailing out to the side like an airplane.

The Risen Mitten orders a couple of tickets to the Halloween episode. October 23rd cannot come soon enough.

Before I sign off for the summer, I want to thank you guys for playing along this season. Watching this show together, sharing inside jokes and laughing and crying and shrieking together is a singular experience. I don’t know any other TV recapper who gets to enjoy such a sense of community in what they do. I also want to shout out the PLL cast and creatives who read and promote these recaps. I am still mystified that these crazy talented, crazy busy people make themselves so accessible to AfterEllen. I hope we never forget how rare and wonderful they are. And, of course, an enormous thank you to my screencapping partner Maggie (@MargaretRosey), who made my life so so so much better this season. If you’re only around for PLL, I’ll see you in October. But if you’re a regular AE-er, I’ll see you real soon when I start recapping Glee season four.

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