“Pretty Little Liars” recap (3.09) — Space Ghost, Coast to Coast

And, well, this is rewarding. Seeing Emily smile, for one. But also, look how at ease Paige is in her own lezzy skin right now. I mean:

I like to pretend — and maybe it’s true, I don’t know — that there’s always going to be this enmity between Spencer and Paige. Spencer dimed her out to Coachprah, remember? Back when she tried to drown Emily? And Spencer would have beaten her and her bangs to a pulp if she’d kept acting out her internalized homophobia on Emily like that. So I like to think that Spencer doesn’t trust Paige, which Paige knows so she’s slightly terrified of her, as she ought to be, but also her competitive drive makes her act like she’s not even afraid at all, and obviously Spencer doesn’t know how to relate to people who don’t cower in her presence at least a little bit, and so it’s this cycle of them glowering at each other and silently circling each other like wolves. Wolves who love Emily as big as the earth and who also know the value of a well placed bite to the jugular. It adds another level of hilarity/awkwardness to this scene where everybody declares how great they are over and over, like they don’t live in Rosewood, PA, where it’s a little bit premature to declare yourself “great” in the morning because probably you’re going to be dead by lunchtime.

Aria skips school to go Ezra’s to talk about his batshit crazy mother, and is rewarded with an introduction to his batshit crazy brother: “Aria, Wesbian. Wesbian, Aria. Now get out of here, little brother, I need some quiet time to journal.” Aria walks in the door at full-Spencer, just accusations and questions and facts facts facts. She explains about his mother trying to buy her off with money and raccoon pelts so she’d break up with him, and he explains that the Jag he sold was actually Wes’ inheritance and now he’s got to buy it back for twice the price. It’s a good thing they’ve been training for the Processing Olympics for their whole entire relationship, because this is some gold medal feelings stuff right here. He leaves in a huff to go do something about the car and Aria shouts after him, “Well, my shirt is an x-ray of a rib cage, so thanks for noticing!”

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