“Pretty Little Liars” recap (2.22) — Everybody wants to rule the world

Peter chases Spencer home where she confesses to burgling his office and finding the receipt for the blood money he paid Alison. He’s like, “Is that all you found in here? Just the receipt? No hockey sticks? No birth certificates? No forged wills? No murder videos?” Nope, none of that. How about a gun? Spencer’s like, “You’re telling me that you keep a gun in the same house as Melissa Hastings? That’s what you’re telling me right now?” Peter goes, “Correction. I used to keep a gun in the same house as Melissa Hastings. Now it has been stolen.” While he runs out into the hallway to use the phone, Spencer finds a folder full of photos of Ali stuffed into his desk. It’s not as creepy as that time Jason took a bunch of pictures of the inside of Aria’s ear from across the street with a telephoto lens and then said he was going to have them framed for her as a gift, but it’s still creepy.

Once the police are on the way, Peter is like, “OK, Spencer, listen. I only killed Alison a little bit. And Jason also only killed her a little bit. Most of all, I think it was … your sister.” The thing the music does when he says that is AMAZING. Here, let me get a clip of it. You need to hear it.


God, I love this show.

Hanna pops round to Aria’s the next day to see if her mom bought Aria’s confession. Aria is like, “Totally.” And over at the Marin’s, Ashley and Ella are chatting about how they totally did not buy it.

Vivian Darkbloom’s informant is feeling pretty generous, I guess, because he tells Aria that Ali was also being blackmailed from another phone in another location. He couldn’t pinpoint it exactly, but he knows where it was “within a block radius” so the Liars drive there and it doesn’t take much sleuthing before they walk straight into a marionette butcher shop, with like flanks of porcelain and decapitated doll heads hanging in the window. Emily’s like, “So, I mean, these are like that doll that came to life in the backseat of my car and commandeered my GPS and held my hand and led me into a barn where I made out with Alison’s ghost, correct?” That seems to be the general consensus.

Aria mistakes the chill that runs up her spine for just being cold, so she decides to just pull Vivian Darkbloom’s coat from the boot of Spencer’s car and wear it. I mean, what’s another dead thing draped around her body. And also, that coat looks gorgeous on her. A guy named Duncan recognizes the coat and goes, “VIVIAN DARKBLOOM?” And Aria turns around and is like, “Another adorable hobbit who will fall in love with me. Excellent.”

The Risen Mitten stops by Rosewood’s town square to pick up a newspaper. Guess who’s full-color photo takes up half the front page? Maya St. Germain. She’s now officially MISSING.

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