“Pretty Little Liars” recap (2.22) — Everybody wants to rule the world

At the dance, Emily has finally worked her way up to pissed off at Maya. She’s like, “I’m sorry, Dad. Unless Maya is trapped in an underground bunker with a serial killer, which, frankly, is entirely possible, there’s really no excuse for her not calling me back. And I don’t want it to ruin our night.” Papa Fields smiles sweetly and says that Maya isn’t going to ruin the night; what’s going to ruin the night is the new that he’s shipping back to Afghanistan. And guys, I have a real bad feeling that he’s the character who’s going to get killed, which bums me out real hard. This scene just feels like a goodbye-goodbye, you know what I mean? Why else would it be here?

“Everybody Wants to Rule the World” is the song of choice for the father/daughter dance, which is a pretty apt commentary about the dads (sans Papa Fields) on this show, right? (Man, I am really down on these guys tonight.) But the Liars aren’t dancing with their dads. They’re engaging in the best scene in this awesome episode. After like two years of collectively ignoring Mona, she has decided to infiltrate their ranks and lay down some truths. Spencer bristles a little when Mona says she has a plan, but then she realizes that she, herself, is so gorgeous right now nobody’s listening to Mona anyway. Mona wants to know who is the best liar, and all of the Liars point at the number one Liar and say, “Aria!” at the same time. It’s hilarious. The fact that they’re just all in agreement without ever discussing it and also the fact that Aria has the audacity to act affronted.

And then there’s the father/daughter dancing that goes like this:

Peter: Do you like slow jams or fast jams? I can give the DJ 15,000 DOLLARS CASH MONEY to play what you like.
Spencer: What I would like is for you not to have murdered my best friend. But we can’t always get what we want.

Byron: You’re daddy’s little girl.
Aria: Except for how I’m not.

Papa Fields: I love you, my sweet gay pumpkin.
Emily: I love you too, Dad. You’re better than Burt Hummel because I never have to suffer through Finchel scenes to see your handsome face.

The next scene is baller too. I love it when Lucy Hale gets to do things besides act forlorn. She stops by Hanna’s to tell Ashley that she’s the one who Photoshopped Hanna’s police record and then dropped it off in Mona’s mailbox and then blackmailed Mona into blackmailing Hanna. So she’d stop shoplifting. Essentially, she’s worried about Hanna and acting out a complicated lie to keep her safe about how she was worried about Hanna and had to act out a complicated lie to keep her safe. You know what I mean? Ashley goes, “Why yes, Aria. That makes perfect sense. Thank you for stopping by.”

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