“Pretty Little Liars” recap (1.17): Homo Moze


Also sweet is Caleb Letto, who has taken it upon himself to remain firmly up in Hanna’s business.

There is a face I am thinking of, an exact face, but I can’t remember the name that goes with it, and it is exactly the face of Ms. Potter’s great-nephew from Kalamazoo who shows up to claim the cash in her safe deposit box. John Tesh! John Tesh is who Ms. Potter’s great-nephew looks like! I knew it would come to me. For some reason that makes him seem even creepier. Anyway, he wants to get his hands on his aunt’s fortune, which weirds Hanna and her mom out just a little because of how ol’ Ms. Potter told Ashley she didn’t have any relatives, and so they stole all her money and then she died.

But don’t even worry about it because Caleb Letto figures out Tesh’s doppelganger is a fraud because he writes with a Bic instead of a Mont Blanc. Dude. Caleb Letto. Let him into the Scooby Gang right now. “A” will be donezo by lunchtime tomorrow. Hanna is like, “Before this goes any further, I just have to ask: Do you or do you not have a doodle?” Caleb does. And do it is on.

Spencer is gallivanting around trying to understand why Boo’s secret message was the word “BAD” spelled out in Braille. She goes on over to the Radley’s place wearing her Laura Ingles Wilder costume and Boo is like, “Hey, do you like my new haircut?” (NO!) And then he explains that JennaBot was plugged into her calibrating machine one night and she kept punching in that code over and over. (Shut up, Boo. Caleb Letto would have solved this mystery hours ago.) So Spencer does what Spencer does and breaks into Jenna’s room. It’s as porcelain doll creepy as you have imagined it to be, and she almost smashes a snow globe on accident, but Boo rushes in and saves her. Their hands touch. (I hate his ass face.)

Boo tells Spencer that the DA has dropped the charges against him because the actual blood from his actual body that tied him to the actual scene of Alison’s actual death was “contaminated.” (That’s because he also sucks the blood of woodland creatures, you fools!) So Spencer takes him to the court house to have his ankle monitor removed. There’s a little scuffle when JennaBot insists that Boo hold her hand and she’ll activate her jetpack and fly them right over to the DA’s office, and Boo says, “There is a chance I will soon be boning someone who is not mechanical/I am not related to, so: No, thanks.”

JennaBot ain’t happy. You think she bought a new lace dress for someone besides her brother? Actually, yes. I do. I think she’s shagging some random who is probably named Ian in room #214 (B-A-D) of a seedy motel.

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