“Pretty Little Liars” recap (5.02): Fiddler on the Roof

I am of two minds about Ali’s dog. 1) It is mostly white and appears to be straight, so probably the worst that will happen is that it will be forced into cannibalism. 2) Emily looked at the dog affectionately and her love is a curse that can only end in misery, so probably the dog should make a break for it.


When Jason sneaks out for a late-night rendezvous in Philly, Hanna and Emily follow him and find themselves face-to-face with a hobo (not that one) who tells them to scram or he will chop them into bits, so they skedaddle on back down the road.

After reorganizing her dolls and feeling skeeved out by her brother, Ali decides she should take some flowers to her grave because there’s a dead blonde teenager in there who has been dug up, reburied, dug up again, carted around, had her teeth made into a necklace, chilled on ice on a nightmare train ride, etc. which is the opposite of Resting In Peace. You know who’s just hanging around Ali’s grave is Mona Vanderwaal, talking about, “I’m just going to start signing my name to my menacing text messages because you might not really be dead but you really are a bitch and I really am an evil genius, so.” She snatches the flower from Ali’s hand and sniffs it and tucks it behind her ear and skips away humming.

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Everyone ends up back at Alison’s house, Aria screeching the whole time about how there’s a fiddler on her roof, but she is interrupted by the sound of Pepe barking in the backyard because he has unearthed Jessica DiLaurentis and is properly freaked out by how manicured her dead hand still is.

Emily feels like she is never coming into this yard again. Spencer feels like at least now she won’t have to keep trying to trick Jessica into answering questions about Toby’s mom. Aria feels relieved that she didn’t kill this latest dead person, at least. Hanna feels hungry from some nachos. And Alison feels alone and exposed and vulnerable and said and probably a little bit relieved because, as Emily pointed out, he mother did one time bury her alive.

Next week:

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