“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.20): The Chamber of Secrets has been opened!

I wonder what’s going on over at the Ambrose Pavilion snake house. Oh, of course: It’s exploding. Hanna absolutely did not want to go in there, but Emily coerced her through her powers of shoulders persuasion.

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They mill around in there for a while, getting their faces real close to the glass at one point and getting rewarded with a terrifying attack because: camouflage. The whole time they’re peeping on Spencer dressed as Ali, and when she gives them the signal they’re supposed to drop off the money and she’ll pick it up and Ezra will show up and kill her and then she’ll have proof that he’s A. These girls are never going to learn about exit strategies, huh?

OK, except they’re not watching Spencer dressed as Ali. They’re watching Mona dressed as Spencer dressed as Ali because Ezra was already onto their game. So when Spencer shows up, they’re like, “… the shit?” and not just because of her wig.

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Her amazing, amazing wig.

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My stars, that wig.

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Well, as soon as they realize they’ve been set up, the snakes start smashing out of the glass and the lights start flickering and the educational announcements go haywire and there’s fog and it’s a mess. The zookeeper, hilariously, finds them running around in circles begging to stay alive and tells them it’s closing time; they have to go. No comment whatsoever about the building coming to life.

(I miss Cece.)

Mona comes in late for her date with Mike and then Aria shows up looking like a person who just hurled herself from a ski lift and ran home barefoot without even trying to collect the pages of Ezra’s book from their place on the forest floor. She smashes things. It’s kind of awesome.

And in Spencer’s kitchen she is confronted once by Toby, who is very disappointed that she missed out on their romantic dinner, since he himself has never ruined a romantic dinner by lying; and also by Veronica, who says, “This shit again, for real? We’re not covering for you if you start blanking and doing attack-y stuff you don’t remember, like what happened right around the time Ali was murdered.”

The Risen Mitten collects Ezra’s novel and stashes it in the folder with Toby’s therapy papers he/she one time recovered from the sea.

An enormous thank you, as always, to my screencapping partner Maggie (@margaretrosey), without whom I would be lost.

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