“Pretty Little Liars” recap (4.20): The Chamber of Secrets has been opened!

They have this conversation:


Aria: You murdered Alison and now you are going to murder me, you absolute motherfucker!
Ezra: No, you’ve got me all wrong. I am a teenagefucker. And I’m not a murderer.
Aria: You did or did not sleep with Alison DiLaurentis when she was the age of 15?
Ezra: Accidentally! But I slept with you when you were 16 on purpose! Because I am a reporter!
Aria: Is that code for child molester?
Ezra: No, see. Yes, Ali lied about her age and I believed her and slept with her, so after she died, I was like, “How weird was that bitch?” and I decided to write a quote true crime story about her.


Aria: You knew exactly who I was the day I came into that bar in the pilot episode.
Ezra: Yes, Suzy Clueless, I knew.
Aria: You knew I was going to be a high school junior and you were going to be my English teacher and you’d fucked my then-dead underage best friend so you thought you’d fuck me too, for information for this true crime book of yours?
Ezra: But I fell in love with you! That part is for real! It’s why I’ve been stalking and recording you and your friends during every moment of every day for the last two years! I mean, that and my true crime book.
Aria: You were like a three on the creep factor, in my mind, and like an eleven in Spencer’s, but this? This shit right here is off the charts.
ABC Family: Hashtag YouDownWithOTP?

Ezra tries to get back the manuscript that solves Ali’s not-murder but also implicates him in at least 75 felonies, but Aria tells him to die in a lodge fire because she is going to read that shit cover-to-cover — aaaaand then she promptly drops it from the sky and the pages fall everywhere. On Twitter the other night someone called that a classic Hufflepuff move and I laughed so hard, like only a true Hufflepuff can. (This morning I locked myself outside onto the snow covered streets wearing pajama pants, a t-shirt, no bra, two socks, and one shoe. I know me some classic Hufflepuff moves.)


I’ve been a little nervous that the writers were going to try to walk back this Ezra-as-a-baddie thing, but after that, there’s just no way they can. I mean, no, maybe he’s not A, but he is a grown man who knowingly seduced an underage girl to begin his surveillance program on her and her friends to find out the truth about what happened to a whole different underage girl, whom he also seduced. Yeeesh.

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