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An interview with Vanessa Carlton

Vanessa Carlton has gone through a lot of changes since her last album released in 2007, which is why it’s taken so long for us to have new music from her. Rabbits on the Run will release on Razor & Tie Records next month, and it appears that, in addition to getting older, the singer/songwriter has also gotten darker and more adventurous. And if her first single, “Carousel,” is any indication, it’s hauntingly good, and just in time for summer evening listening.

Vanessa chatted with us about how she writes songs in her sleep and why she came out as bisexual at a Nashville Pride performance last year. AfterEllen.com: It’s been a couple years since your last album. What has it been like from 2007 to now? What has happened to you, what has fueled the album?

Vanessa Carlton: It’s been a couple years since I woke up. There was a lot of analysis of my past – personally and professionally. … I think I was on a path to answer a lot of those questions. … Everyone goes through their trials and tribulations – especially in their late 20s – and I was no exception to the rule. I would say that all that kind of darkness – I went on this huge quest of personal revolution that led to me to writing again.

I’m sorry, it’s difficult for me to articulate because there is so much that went on. I think, slowly over the years, I’ve felt more comfortable talking about all the stuff that’s going on, so it’s just a huge shift in my life and I’m just so grateful. I’m so grateful to be able to wake up and I’m so happy to be alive and turn 30 and to be able to do this record.

AE: With the song “Carousel” I noticed you had tweeted that you woke up and were singing this song. Could you tell me a little about that?

VC: Yeah. I have these dream songs and they’re wonderful dreams, but then you wake up and they’re crap songs – they’re not great. Or I forget them because they’re just snippets of your subconscious, I guess. I don’t know. But this one, I just woke up with that singing line in my head [hums melody] and I love that. So I went out, at 3:30 in the morning, and played it on the piano and put it on my Garage Band and then went back to bed. But I couldn’t go back to sleep so I just lay there and the lyrics kind of slid in and I wrote it just with my thumbs on my Blackberry, in the dark. And the next morning I woke up and I forgot that the whole thing went down. I just thought the whole thing was a dream. Then I went and checked my iTunes and I played it the little demo I made and it had really happened. And it was a really kind of lovely. You know, things were getting really dark and my friend KT Tunstall, a wonderful singer-songwriter – I played her another idea, it was about death or something, or lavender, I don’t know, and she looked at me and said, “Vaness, don’t get too dark.” And I’m really glad she said that because it really gave me permission, in a way, to let the light in. This was the first shard of light that crept in on this record, and I just love that now it’s opening the record.

AE: At what point did you bring in the kid’s choir to work on the songs like that? Because I feel like it does give it a little brightness but also kid’s choirs can be haunting, they use them in horror films to be kind of creepy. [Laughs]

VC: Yes, I love things that creepy and provocative and beautiful at the same time. When the kid’s start singing, it starts to sound like music from another dimension. And that’s the greatest compliment anyone has ever given me: “Your music sounds like it’s coming from another dimension.” The middle of that song is almost like a séance, like a ritual or a mediation on those lyrics, and that kind of prayer. The children bring that to life.

AE: Are those elements on the rest of the album? Is “Carousel” a good introduction to what the entire thing is going to sound like?

VC: I would say that the palette of sounds that you’re hearing on “Carousel,” yes, that’s the palette of the record. Again, though, that’s on the brighter side of the spectrum lyrically. Kids are woven throughout. It is a more stripped back record, it’s arts and crafts, for sure. It’s the record I’ve always dreamed of making.

AE: With this new label, did you feel like you had more freedom than you had in the past? What was it that drew you to working with Razor & Tie?

VC: I didn’t meet them ’til I was finished with the record. I’d kinda given up on things – myself and labels and – I just don’t know if I do it very well. But I cut ties with all labels on this record and I self-funded it.

For whatever reason I would get to finish lines on projects and I would just end up with something different than what we started with, and I just didn’t want to do that anymore. And I take full responsibility for that, I made those decisions.

I wanted the record to come from another dimension, I wanted to protect that. I wanted to create a bubble for it and so the way to do that is to become your own – I funded it myself. So if we needed something, if we needed more tape or more time or whatever, it would just be up to me. It was just the most amazing environment I’ve ever worked in.

I would be the shittiest CEO of a label because I would just tell artists “Sure, whatever you want! Sure!” What freedom I was able to give myself and the rest of the team. AE: The artists on the label would love you, of course.

VC: I would get along real well with artists.

And Razor & Tie – I needed to create this first, and then whatever relationship I ended up having with any label in the future, which would commence with Razor & Tie, would have to be based on what I’d already created. This is the direction of the rest of my life, this is the beginning of – I woke up. This is it. This is the beginning of a whole new path for me, in a certain way.

AE: Last year at Nashville pride you announced that you are bisexual. What made you choose that time and use that platform?

VC: The whole situation was so pure. Maybe I’m naïve, but I had no idea that it was going to go – which I’m fine with – beyond the exchange I had with the crowd. When I play, I’m in the moment. You’re having to engage with the people in front of you. It just organically felt right and it wasn’t something that was calculated.

In a way, I was a little disturbed by what happened only because I didn’t want people to think it was some kind of exploitation. It was a really honest moment, so [Laughs] I just didn’t realize it was going to go on to the Internet, which, I’m totally fine with that but it wasn’t some sort of formal – you know what I’m saying?

AE: Yes. Have you found that gay organizations or publications have taken a greater interest in you now? Or does it not seem any different? Because I feel like the LGBT community has always enjoyed you.

VC: I don’t know. I’m a pretty private person, and the more you share about yourself the more people will feel like they can connect to you.

AE: In my experience, when we’ve written about it on AfterEllen.com, our readers are excited about it because they like you already and they feel like “Yes! She’s on our team!” So it’s good for them, but I could understand that it might be strange for you if you feel like people are exploiting it.

VC: No, I don’t feel like those people are exploiting it at all. I feel like to make some sort of formal announcement about yourself is – that’s totally fine, too, that’s just not what I did. I love that. I love that. If people feel like their closer to me because of it, so be it. AE: Have any of the songs that you’ve written been about relationships with women?

VC: I’m sure.

AE: Do you ever write songs about specific people, or do you wake up from a dream and you have this inspiration? How does it usually work for you?

VC: It’s different. That song was a rarity, “Carousel.” A lot of this record was inspired by two books, Watership Down and A Brief History of Time. I don’t think I’ve ever spent so much time crafting lyrics as I have on this record. And it’s not so much about “me, me, me.” I mean, obviously it’s coming from my perspective, but it’s not just about a relationship. It’s not that kind of record. It’s hard – you haven’t heard it.

AE: [Laughs] I know.

VC: I really look forward to people hearing it.

AE: You tweeted about the song “I Don’t Want to Be a Bride.” Is that still on there?

VC: Yes.

AE: That’s such an interesting song title. Could you tell me a little bit about it?

VC: I never hear that message sung to me by anyone else. You certainly hear a lot of men say that they don’t want to get married, but it’s the same. It’s the confines of expectation that come when they feel – particularly women – from society, a shame.

Because I think that I’ve just turned 30 and I’ve never felt so curious, I’ve never felt so awake. So much change and that’s when you get hit with this pressure of “when are you getting engaged and married?” and I feel like it’s so unfair. And I feel like you don’t have to trade this curiosity and liberty chapter of your life for love. You can have it all. So it’s really about – I believe in great love. I really do. And I also support marriage. If people want to get married, they certainly can. But I don’t want to be a bride.

Rabbits on the Run comes out June 21.

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