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An interview with Allison Weiss

If you haven’t heard of Allison Weiss, you probably aren’t on Tumblr. The New York-based singer/songwriter has built a steady fan following using social networking over the last few years, and she funded her last album almost entirely from fan-based funds. Allison talked with us about deciding to come out publicly last year with an It Gets Better video and why she would rather do everything herself. AfterEllen.com What was it like growing up in Georgia? Allison Weiss: I was born in Michigan but my parents moved me to Georgia when I was about five, where I grew up in a really small town called Flowery Branch. There weren’t a lot of other kids around where we lived so I mostly hung out with my brother and focused on a lot of solo creative projects, such as making stop-motion movies with my stuffed animals, writing silly rhyming poetry and spending hours in the basement with my dad’s synthesizer composing catchy little instrumental loops.

AE: So is that how you started playing music? AW: Yeah, I’ve pretty much always been into music as far back as I can remember. My dad always had a ton of instruments around so it was only a matter of time before I learned to use them. I had brief encounters with guitars throughout my childhood but it wasn’t until I was 14 that I really started playing. I had just transferred schools and didn’t have any friends. There was this punk boy in my class and I guess he played guitar so I decided I was going to learn and impress him. I borrowed my dad’s Les Paul and learned some power chords and successfully won this guy over with my skill and charm. We only dated for a month, which probably had something to do with the fact that making out with him was the opposite of fun, but I was super-heartbroken about it and that’s when I started channelling all of my girl feelings into pop punk songs.

After that, I never stopped playing or took a break from music. I played bass in a sh–ty metal band for a while, eventually started my own pop punk band that I fronted (we sucked), and then at some point I discovered acoustic guitar and formed an emo duo with a friend. I wrote all the lyrics and music but the songs were all about my bandmate (whoops). Things got awkward and we broke up, which is when I started playing completely solo.

Right about then I was graduating high school and going to college. I chose UGA in Athens because I heard the music scene was killer, and ended up spending the next five years wishing I was just playing music. My brother eventually learned guitar and I made him join my band. The two of us would go out on tour during breaks from school and just play as often as possible. At some point, music stopped being a hobby and became my purpose, as intense as that sounds. I never said “Hey, I think I’ll do this for living,” it just kind of happened, and it’s still happening. So I graduated in 2010 and moved to New York shortly thereafter and here I am now.

AE: When did you come out and how did it happen? AW: My coming out story has two parts: I came out to friends and family about a year before I came out to fans.

In October of 2009, I was in New York visiting friends, which was something I did a lot before I moved here. I had just attended a Tegan and Sara show in Times Square – so gay – with my buddy and lesbro Shervin and we had a really great time. Afterward we were walking home and out of nowhere he says, “So, how much do you like girls?” I froze. It felt like I had been waiting my whole life for someone to ask that question. I was so full of adrenaline from the show and the city, I came clean. Shervin spent the rest of the night teasing me about how obvious it was and interrogating me about my girl crushes.

Just saying it felt so f—ing good that as soon as I flew back to Georgia, I wanted to tell everyone, but I was nervous. A month later I met a wonderful girl and decided the time had come. I made a list of the 10 most important people in my life and I came out to all of them before the new year.

Though coming out to my family and friends was surprisingly easy, I wasn’t so sure about putting that part of my life completely out in the open just yet. I spent a good deal of time just not talking about my sexuality or my girlfriend on the Internet or with my fans. I had long since stopped using gender-specific pronouns in interviews, but I pretty much thought “I date girls, I have a girlfriend, cool, I don’t have to do anything else.” It wasn’t until an important breakup last year that I realized I hadn’t spent any time actually existing as an out queer person.

Around this same time, gay teen suicides were getting a lot of publicity and Dan Savage launched the It Gets Better campaign. I remember being on the road and talking to my tourmate about it, hoping that my young fans could look up to me, to which she replied, “Dude, then you have to come out.” Everything suddenly made sense. As soon as I got back from that tour I made an It Gets Better video and I told the world.

AE: I met your parents and they seem to be extremely supportive of your music. Were they equally supportive of you when you came out? AW: My parents are extremely supportive. If it has been hard for them at all, they definitely haven’t shown it. I think their main concern was that I’d automatically be forced to live a harder life, but I try to show them that things have changed since they were young. It’s getting better every day, and I’m lucky enough to live in a city where it doesn’t really matter for me. They’ve also seen the comments and letters I’ve gotten from kids all over the world in response to my It Gets Better video. They see why this is a fight I want to fight. They’re very proud of the fact that I’m gay and that I can be a role model. Now, my budding tattoo collection and summer mohawk, that’s a different story. AE: You told me once that you feel like your style is going away from dresses to a less femme look – why is that? AW: There was a time in my life when I loved the s–t out of a good summer dress, but I have always been more of a tomboy. I wore baggy boys’ clothes until high school and really didn’t start rocking dresses until my early 20s. I recall being younger and thinking that the reason the boys didn’t like me was probably because they didn’t want to date a girl who dressed like them. So I changed and I got used to it, and I even liked it.

I still think nothing is more badass than a girl in a pretty dress who can play the f–k out of a guitar, and I sure did feel like a badass, but it’s just not me anymore. Who knows what the future holds for my personal style, but for now I choose to embrace my inner hipsterdyke.

AE: What are your musical goals? AW: I’m working on my second full-length album right now. In the past, I primarily performed with an acoustic guitar, but this time around I want to make something more fun to play. The last record is pretty chill. It rocks slightly on a few of the songs, but when I play live with a full band, everything is louder and faster. I strive to capture that on this new record. I don’t know why it’s taken me this long to just say “f–k it” and pick up an a electric guitar, but I’ve always wanted to make loud fun indie pop songs and so now I’m doing that.

Above all I love touring and performing. I want to be able to go out on the road whenever I feel like it and I want to make a living. I think I have the same goals as most musicians: I want to write great songs and play great shows and I want to entertain a captive audience.

I’m also very excited about paying my dues. I’ve spent a lot of time figuring out how to tour by starting from the ground up. Right now I do everything myself. I don’t have a manager or a booking agent or a publicist but it’s all by choice. Aside from the wonderful musicians who play with me and the people I’ve met who’ve helped me out along the way, I am totally alone. That said, it’s definitely gotten harder to keep up with lately and this year I hope to put together a solid team to help me level up.

AE: What are the new songs about that you have been writing? AW: I’ve always been very motivated by relationships and how they work or don’t. My first girlfriend and I broke up last August, which coincided with my moving to New York, coming out to my fans, and changing my image. A lot of the songs on the new record are about figuring myself out in relation to those events.

I admit, I’m more pessimistic than I used to be. This probably sounds weird, but I love hearing about breakups. I always want to know everyone’s side to the story, maybe that’s my way of trying to figure out why right goes wrong and how everyone just deals with it. I think I’m more of a realist now. I think I’ve done some growing up. But I’m also still young and hopeful and confident that everything will work out in the end. I crush hard. I want love. I try and address those feelings in the songs I’ve been writing, and I think listeners will be able to hear that.

AE: Who are your favorite musicians and why? AW: This is always such a hard question! Honestly, most of my favorite musicians are friends I work with on a day-to-day basis. I am lucky enough to be surrounded by an immensely talented group of people. Bess Rogers, one of my best friends, has a new album coming out soon. Her husband Chris Kuffner, who is also the best bassist and guitarist I know, is producing both of us, so I’ve gotten to hear most of her record from the beginning. I love her songs and have so much respect for her work ethic.

I recently met a guy named Dan Campbell who fronts a band called The Wonder Years. We played a couple shows together in April which was the first time I saw them live. It was so intense and fun, I haven’t felt an energy like that since I was a teenager. I want to perform the way they do.

I guess I could give you a list of my favorite bands, but there are so many I’d be afraid to leave some out: Rilo Kiley, The Magnetic Fields, Kevin Devine, Laura Veirs, the list goes on. I think Tegan and Sara will always be near the top. I love their songwriting and also their business sense. Oh, and I’m obsessed with Robyn right now! I adore everything she has done. I listen to so much music though, as soon as I read what I’ve said here I’ll probably regret not mentioning more.

AE: What is your biggest inspiration right now? AW: Lately I’ve pretty much regressed back to my youth. I’ve been revisiting what I liked when I first started playing music, and listening to all the bands I should have heard back then. It started last September when I was feeling really angsty and attended Pinkerton Night at a local bar. I f—ing loved it. After going my whole life being very anti-Weezer but hearing so many friends talk about how great that record is, everything finally clicked. I listened to it non-stop for like a month. After that I got back into everything I loved as a kid – MxPx, New Found Glory, Blink-182, Jimmy Eat World, Brand New – and everything I’d heard of but neglected to check out – Sleater-Kinney, Juliana Hatfield, Le Tigre and Be Your Own Pet.

I’ve also just become obsessed with the riot grrrl movement, both musically and politically. I’d probably give anything to have heard Bikini Kill when I was in middle school, but I’m pretty young and never had a cool older sister or babysitter or anything like that. Since I came out last year I’ve been scrambling to catch up and learn as much as I can about feminism and queer theory. I’m extremely inspired by everyone who has fought and is still fighting for the right to just exist equally. AE: Where do you want to be in five years? 10 years? AW: You know, I think I want to be doing exactly what I’m doing, just on a larger scale. Right now I can make records and go out on the road and somehow still pay my bills, but in five years I’d like to see that hard work really pay off. I’d like to see a level of success that offers more security. In 10 years – or much sooner – I’d like to be doing well enough that I can spend some money on allergy shots and get myself a feline friend. I’m extremely allergic to cats and every girl I ever like happens to own one, so I have to get over this affliction.

AE: Besides music, what gets you going? If you had to have a regular job, what would you choose to do? AW: I actually have a degree in graphic design, so I guess that’s what I should say, but aside from music, I think promotion is my one true love. When I really believe in something I want everyone else to love it, too. If I wasn’t a musician, I’d want to be a manager or a publicist. I’d want to be the person who gets people excited about my new favorite thing.

In high school and college I was really into self-promo. I made stickers and put them all over town, barraged the campus with flyers, chalked up the streets, and did whatever it took to get people to my shows. I’d introduce myself to people in the cafeteria and they’d be like, “Oh you’re that girl with the stickers.” People have also told me I’m very good at the Internet. I used Kickstarter.com to fund my last record and was invited to speak on a panel at SXSW about that. The topic was crowdfunding, and how to build a supportive online following. I think I could help other bands learn how use the Internet in a more honest, fun, and effective way. If I had to have a totally non-musical regular job, I’d want to be a screen printer or work in a bike shop.

AE: Do you have a girlfriend now? What do you do when you are on the road, how do you stay connected? AW: At this very moment I am single. The times I was touring and did have a girlfriend, I relied heavily on technology to keep in touch. I think being a touring musician can make any normal relationship feel very long-distance, and it’s tough to handle but it can be done. Luckily there are cell phones and computers and it seems like everyone is video chatting these days.

For me the hardest thing is when I develop a crush on someone right before I leave town. That said, it can be really fun to have a pen pal on the road. I’m great at text messaging and I love to send postcards and collect gas station souvenirs to bring home, so if a girl is game for all those things then I know I’ve got something to look forward to when I get back.

AE: What is your favorite website and why? AW: I’m really into social networking so I have to go with Tumblr.com. I’ve been an active user since late 2007 and I’m pretty addicted. Tumblr is where I blog and document my life’s adventures. Of course, I follow a lot of friends and acquaintances, but I also interact among the community by following people I don’t know personally, many of whom are just fans with interesting blogs. I think of it as a source of inspiration and a place to see art, discover music, and stay up to date on the trends of the Internet. Since I’ve been so involved in the community for so long, I’ve had the opportunity to meet the guys who started the company, and I love what they’re doing. They’ve also been very good to me and and many of them are avid supporters of my music. It’s cool and awesome to have them on my side.

AE: What is your advice to young women who are wanting to follow their dreams of being musicians? AW: Most of my advice for young women would be the same advice I’d give anyone. Practice; practice a lot. Practice playing, writing, performing. Be willing to suck for a while. Be willing to learn from your mistakes. Make sure your dreams are based in a desire to create music. I fear that a lot of young people have a goal of being “famous,” and if this is what you want, I encourage you to reevaluate what motivates you. I think the people who gain lasting success are the ones doing what they love and doing it well. If you don’t absolutely love something, don’t do it.

For the girls specifically, please don’t let any guy ever tell you that you can’t play as well as him. That guy can go f–k himself. It’s not our fault that we get barbies and kitchen sets while our brothers get guitars and drums. Lastly, please try your hardest to treat other girls with love and respect because ladies gotta stick together! And if you’ve always wanted to make music, now is the time. It’s never too late to start.

AE: Where were you when same-sex marriage became legal in New York? How did you celebrate? Or did you? AW: June 24, 2011 was the first night of NYC Pride and I had plans to celebrate in the city just as soon as I finished playing bass with my roommate’s band, Field Mouse. The New York senate was making their decision during our set, but as soon as I got off stage my friends grabbed me and told me the news. I literally dropped to my knees and howled. I proposed to my friend for fun and hugged every person I saw. There was an explosion of joy in this Brooklyn bar, and we all immediately piled into a cab and headed to Stonewall in Greenwich Village. I should mention that this was my first Pride experience anywhere ever. It felt like the whole world was celebrating, everyone was laughing and yelling and dancing. All the bars were packed so we ate pizza in the street and made friends with everyone we met.

It’s hard to explain the incredible sense of community I experienced that night, but I’m sure most people reading this will know what I’m talking about. I’m definitely happy that same sex marriage is legal in my state, but also I know that it’s only one issue and the fight is not even close to being over. Hopefully this will lead to an even bigger movement toward true equality for everyone.

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