The immaculate collection

Queen Latifah was on The Ellen DeGeneres Show on Tuesday, where she announced she’d like to adopt and have kids. A lot of them. The rapper-turned-actress-turned-Covergirl spokeswoman says she envisions 18 heirs apparent to her throne.

“I totally want, like, 18 babies,” said the possible future Queen Mum. Like, that’s not a family. That’s, like, two softball teams.

Unlike other celebrity child collectors, Latifah insists she wouldn’t go outside the United States to create her brood when there are so many American kids in need.

“I want to adopt an American baby though, you know what I mean, no offense. Just because there are so many kids here that need our help. My sister is a social worker, and there are just so many kids that could use a good home.”

I wonder if the pre-adoption personal background check will confirm any of those nagging rumors that the Queen has a lady-in-waiting-with-benefits? Doesn’t it look like she’s trying to send us a subtle message?

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I also wonder what Jeanette Jenkins, Latifah’s alleged on-again, off-again girlfriend of three years, has to say about the plan to adopt 18 kids. “See ya,” would be understandable.

But hey, if Jeanette’s down with it, I guess Heather and her 17 brothers and sisters will have two mommies. Allegedly.

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