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L.A. Scene November ’09: Out and About Bus Tour, GLAAD Tidings and Girlbar

L.A. Scene is a monthly column that chronicles lesbian nightlife and events of interest in Los Angeles. Sarah Witness, an East Coast transplant and obvious femme, has been navigating the snark infested waters of Hollywood since 2001. Although she’s an NYU trained actress, she prefers sipping vodka and making idle chit-chat at really gay nightclubs.

Out and About Bus Tour

Los Angeles is rife with traffic congesting tour buses overflowing with sunburned out-of-towners. I’ve certainly never been inspired to hop aboard one, that is, until I heard about Out and About Tours. Recently started by actor and director Jim Anzide, the gay history tour/party bus is open to 21 years and older people of all persuasions. We gathered in the exhibit area of the One Gallery and Archives in West Hollywood for a champagne send-off. The auditorium was being used for an AA meeting, whose members were no doubt thrilled when our bus arrived. Nametags were handed out and we each sported the name of someone critical to Los Angeles gay history. One person was randomly selected to be the tour Queen, in our case a man who had the will but not the hair to affix his crown.

The bus was an old-fashioned British double-decker adorned with rainbow tinsel. “I’m Coming Out” blasted from the speakers. As we drove down Santa Monica Blvd., the main stretch in WeHo, Jim pointed out important landmarks. Two onboard actors reenacted important scenes from gay history. I thought I was a WeHo expert. Not so much, it seems. For example, I learned that the IHOP restaurant that always seems like a good idea around 3:00 a.m. is a lesbian landmark. In the 1970’s they booted out a lesbian couple for holding hands. The next day, the lesbians returned with twelve other lesbian couples who staged a kiss-in.

It was, apparently, effective, and now we are all free to get some action with our pancakes.

WeHo is the current gay area of Los Angeles, but the tour proved that this wasn’t always the case. We saw the site of the first Pride Parade, right in the middle of super-straight and touristy Hollywood. It began at 7 p.m. when “the children were safely in bed” and was led by a lesbian on horseback.

Speaking of “Pride,” did you know that the term stands for “Personal Rights In Defense and Education?” Neither did I.

We headed downtown, where we learned about the Native American tribes who were settled there. A number of the tribes not only acknowledged, but embraced homosexuality. They saw gays as more enlightened, and even allowed gay marriage!

A huge amount of information was doled out, and we were periodically quizzed, and rewarded with candy. The bus finally came to a stop at The Other Side, an old-school gay piano bar in Silverlake. Everyone was given a complimentary hot pink cocktail, and then encouraged to get up and sing.

I’m not ashamed to admit that I hit The Other Side with some frequency, and was thrilled when they gave us coupons for our next visit. In fact, I’ve already used mine. WeHo is great and all, but sometimes what you really need is a gaggle of gay grandpas and some show tunes.

The tour was fantastic and I’ll be subjecting all of my out-of-town guests to it, including you, Mom. Their website provides all the info.

GLAAD Tidings Season’s Greenings

Somehow, the folks at GLAAD are always able to get someone to open up their house for the cause. The 12th Annual GLAAD Tidings Season’s Greenings event was no exception. It was held at the massive estate of Tony and Jeanne Pritzker, who obviously do something lucrative. Can you imagine letting 500 people traipse through your house? Clearly they are saints.

The house is in Bel Air, so I wore tights to prove that I, too, am fancy.

When I arrived, I ran into Elizabeth Keener and Jamie Lauren, who were partying in the promotional Lexus. After a brief chat, I headed off to visit my kindred sponsors, SKYY Vodka, and some people doling out ritzy chocolate. SKYY now makes pineapple vodka. Where has this been all of my life? Inside the house, the requisite silent auction was taking place. I casually sauntered into the bidding area, not to make a play for one of the fab items up for grabs, but to be closer to the kitchen (aka the frontline for the passed hors d’oeuvres). I have no idea who won what, but the canapés were spectacular. Definitely my kind of auction.

A ton of celebrities milled about, including Jai Rodriguez, Jenni Pulos (Flipping Out), Kim Coles, Rahsaan Patterson … I could go on, but that would be boring.

Eventually, everyone was ushered out to the backyard, where it was fake snowing. A large stage hosted an eco-friendly fashion show, which incorporated recycled Lexus parts. Yeah, that old trick.

The highlight of the night was a performance by Frenchie Davis. I was without a television when she was on American Idol, so I had no idea what a powerhouse she is. She did an astonishing rendition of “I Am Changing,” from Dreamgirls, that brought the gay boys (and musical theater geeks like myself) to their knees.

After her performance, she just wandered around chatting like a normal person, even though she is clearly some sort of superhuman goddess. And I don’t use the term “goddess” lightly … or ever. On the way out, each guest was given a swag bag. Yay! It included eco-friendly shoes, Christmas ornaments, a guidebook to Los Angeles, condoms and lube. Something for everyone.

Girlbar

Perhaps the most hit or miss lesbian event in Los Angeles is Girlbar. And when I say “hit or miss,” I mean it. You can have the time of your life one night, and want to gouge your eyeballs out the next.

I first went to Girlbar about six years ago. During that time, half of the girls there looked like Olsen twins. They frequently had their boyfriends along to watch them “experiment.” (I wonder how that worked out?) The other half were equally young, extremely butch, and permanently boyfriend-free.

A few years ago, the crowd shifted to a slightly older and much more sexually self-actualized group. That was great while it lasted, but, eventually a number of competing promoters showed up. A lot of the Girlbar regulars abandoned ship, and all that remained were a bunch of tube-top clad girls from the Inland Empire (which included the go-go dancers).

So I hadn’t been in quite some time, but a group of us somehow got coerced into it by a friend a couple of weeks ago. It was actually … really fun and pretty hot. Dare I say it, but Girlbar just might be back! After ascending the gigantic fire escape/staircase into the current venue, Ultra Suede, we forked over our cover charges. The cover can be avoided or at least alleviated if you get on the list in advance or show up early, but that’s not how I roll.

Upon payment, you are stamped on the inner-wrist with dark black ink that reads “GIRLBAR.” It looks like a prison tattoo and doesn’t wash off for days. Plan your weekend accordingly.

That night happened to be the 20th Anniversary of Girlbar. The Girlbar website indicates that the owners started in November of 1990, so I’m not sure if the 20-year anniversary calculation is a math issue or if lesbian years are different or what. Regardless, that’s a really long time to keep a party going, and co-founders Sandy Sachs and Robin Gans clearly know what they’re doing.

The place was packed to the gills with women of all descriptions, with a strong concentration of the young and hot variety. The music was great and the pole dancers were quite … talented. Women stood around them, doling out huge wads of cash. That must be a pretty good gig, if you can handle the audience participation element. I guess the “no touching” rule doesn’t apply in lesbian clubs. A number of girls faux made out with the dancers.

I was walking through the club with Dara Nai when a couple of AfterEllen.com readers spotted her and began shrieking and convulsing. One girl was so excited that she ended up pulling the other girl’s hair, which led that girl to shout out one of the best things I’ve ever heard in a nightclub, “Ow! This s— is real!”

I never have my camera handy when I need it the most.

A shockingly good time was had by all. Clearly, Girlbar deserves another chance. We wound up staying until closing, which is only slightly embarrassing.

At the end of the night, I made it down the crazy stairs without killing myself. My hair remained attached. Best of all, my wrist stamp wore off in time for Thanksgiving dinner.

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