It seems like the 2006 holiday season is pure bad luck for celebrity couples. First there was Britney splitting with K-Fed, then Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock announced their divorce after what seemed to be only days of marriage, and now former *NSYNC member Lance Bass and Amazing Race alum Reichen Lehmkuhl have announced that their relationship is also over.
In a statement to People (which provided the venue for Lance Bass’ official coming-out earlier this year), the former couple said: “We remain the best of friends. Please respect our privacy as we try to work things out during this difficult time.”
Wow, they’re so civilized. I can’t help but wonder what it would have been like had they been lesbians. Do you think they would still issue the “best of friends” statement? I mean, most lesbians who break up with each other initially declare that they’re going to remain friends, but that soon devolves into dramatic histrionics involving bitter accusations and teary-eyed reminiscences of broken promises and “forgotten” declarations of eternal love … followed by months of therapy (both individual and couples’ therapy, not to mention retail), discovery of religion (preferably Buddhism, although dabbling in Wiccan practices is also acceptable), rebounding with girls who are the exact opposite of the person who ruined your life yet somehow end up exhibiting the same habits …
Aw, hell. Sometimes a breakup is so horrible you might as well consider switching sides. Hey, Lance Bass is single again. If you squint, he looks kinda like a hipster butch dyke. And he can dance!
