L.A. Scene is a monthly column that chronicles lesbian nightlife and events of interest in Los Angeles. Sarah Witness, an East Coast transplant and obvious femme, has been navigating the snark infested waters of Hollywood since 2001. Although she’s an NYU trained actress, she prefers sipping vodka and making idle chit-chat at really gay nightclubs. Jetsetter On July 23rd I attended the new Thursday night lesbian event in West Hollywood called “Jetsetter.”
I don’t know why it’s called that. It was held at the sometimes-restaurant, sometimes-nightclub, Apple. Apple is right across from the biggest and gayest hotspot in West Hollywood, The Abbey, but no one ever seems to have heard of it. It’s a very cool and sprawling space with several bars, several dance floors, lots of plushy booths, and tons of outdoor space.
Jetsetter is promoted by Mariah Hanson, Briana Stockton, and Tracie Ayala. Mariah is the brains behind the Clubskirts weekend at Dinah Shore. You know Briana from Advanced P.E. on AfterEllen. She’s a personal trainer and a nightclub promoter. She clearly needs her Ritalin adjusted.
Over five hundred women (and six or seven guys) showed up to the premiere of Jetsetter. AfterEllen.com’s own Bridget McManus, Karman Kregloe, and Dara Nai were there, along with comedienne Suzanne Westenhoefer. Everyone mingled pleasantly until suddenly we were corralled with substantial verbal force into one room to watch “the show.” The show involved lots of dancers wearing little shorts.
I’m tired of little girls in little outfits writhing around when I’m busy thinking about what kind of burrito I’m craving. I know. It’s not their fault their bodies are made of steel. Bitches. Finally the (actually very talented) dancing ladies tuckered themselves out and we were released. Everything got progressively wilder when we started dancing — and by “we” I mean other people.
A very fun, diverse crowd showed up. The same sixty or so people that can always be counted on to show up to every lesbian event of course showed up, but a bunch of new faces were there as well.
I caught up with Mariah Hanson and asked her about what it’s like to promote in Los Angeles. She explained, “We provide a style of parties that the LA girls really appreciate. We bring together so many different types of women, of all backgrounds and ages, and somehow a vibe is created where everyone appreciates the differences and just lets loose.”
The future of Jetsetter is uncertain for now, as Apple is closed for renovations. Regardless, these three can be counted on to come back with something excellent.
I went with the bean and cheese burrito. I have no idea what went down on Santa Monica Blvd for the rest of the month. My guess is that The Abbey was mobbed, the rrrrrrrroses lady soldiered on, and East West continued to smell like patchouli and dormant sewage, but everyone went there anyway.
I, on the other hand, decided to do some Jetsetting of my own and booked some flights out of Dodge.
Provincetown Growing up on the east coast, I went to Provincetown with my family every summer, a decision my parents have no doubt come to regret. It had been years though, and all I remember from those trips was my frequent tendency to “accidentally” wander into head shops and sex shops every time my parents were distracted by some discount tunics or shrieking drag queens.
This year I flew to Boston and took the ferry, which is definitely the way to go. No offense to the wood-paneled station wagon of my youth, but you could swim to Provincetown in less time than it takes to get over the bridge and onto the Cape. Provincetown has a number of theme weeks and long weekends throughout the summer, such as Bear Week, Women of Color Weekend, Carnival Week, and in October, when it’s freezing, the longstanding Women’s Week.
Largely thanks to the public outcry that the women have the yuckiest week of all, a new long-weekend event has popped up in July called “Girl Splash,” which is a Dinah Shore-type party featuring endless debauchery and whale watching.
Sounds awesome! But if you want to know all about it, you’ll have to ask someone with more foresight, because I inadvertently showed up just in time for Family Week! Who knew the GLBT community was single-handedly raising seven billion children? And here they all were, in the gayest place on earth.
It actually worked out well because typically Provincetown is teeming with men who are taller than me. Children are usually not, so they don’t interfere with my view.
Also, children go to bed around eight. I do not. So, it was very easy to get dinner reservations.
Provincetown is a little village of gayness. Most of the people who live and vacation there are gay, probably a higher percentage of GLBT people than anywhere else in the U.S. There are straight tourists as well but the culture is completely gay and gay friendly. There are very few cars, so everyone strolls around in the narrow taffy/ice cream/bong shop lined streets without fear of being run over.
The best idea is to get a bicycle, which I did, and head off to the lesbian beach at Herring Cove.
The beaches on the Cape are absolutely gorgeous and the waves don’t pummel you senseless like they do in the Pacific. More importantly, people wear normal swimsuits, not pieces of twine like in Los Angeles. Which meant I could wear a swimsuit, not a piece of burlap like I do in Los Angeles.
During Family Week (yippee), of course, it was mostly lesbians and their micromanaged offspring who arrived with extensive gear including, but not limited to, full-on tents, lest little Delilah and Sylvester encounter sunlight. Wish I’d made those names up, but sadly those were my beach neighbors.
Los Angeles-based comedian Jennie McNulty wandered by giving out flyers for her summer-long show. The performers were no doubt bummed out by family week. Hopefully some of the parents were able to escape their kids and go see some fun drag shows or inappropriate comedy.
Not bogged down by responsibility or integrity myself, I headed off to the lesbian bar The Pied. Unlike most waterfront places, the giant patio at The Pied actually extends way out into the bay, so you are sitting not just at, but over, the water. I can’t believe the lesbians scored this kind of real estate!
For most of the week The Pied was shockingly empty, but as soon as family week was over, it was packed. Most of the large P-Town bars hold big afternoon parties, called Tea Dances, and The Pied hosts an “After Tea T-Dance” every day starting at 6:30. There I met one group of gals that consisted of a young woman who was there partying with her mom and her mom’s girlfriend – which is awesome and would make a much better reality show than the ones about people that birth litters of children.
If you or your mom aren’t big partiers, there is still plenty to do. You can always eat. Amazing lobster, clam chowder, and other sea critters are the specialty. Or you can subsist entirely on fudge and ice cream as I did.
A ton of great lesbian comediennes perform nightly. I saw Jessica Kirson do a hilarious set. Kate Clinton performs there all summer as well.
If all else fails, there’s plenty of whale watching.
San Francisco Having gotten my gay on this month, everywhere from West Hollywood to Provincetown, and nowhere in between, I thought I’d seen it all.
Nope. I hadn’t yet attended the 14th Annual San Francisco Drag King Contest. It was an event that words cannot quite describe, but most of my photos came out blurry so I guess I’ll have to try.
Held at DNA Lounge (where they steal your water bottle at the door which makes me insane), the event was clearly the place to be.
The barn-like space was packed to the literal rafters with enthusiastic spectators. Many in the audience were dressed in drag. And I don’t mean they threw on some cargo pants. We’re talking full moustaches, beards, top hats, canes…
A number of looks involved very stylized man-clothes with exposed breasts (with tassels for modesty.) Several women were in uniform. I encountered a “cop” outside smoking a cigar with great bravado, but he wouldn’t let me take his picture for AfterEllen.com for fear of someone from work seeing. That would be kind of awesome if the very people he was afraid of at work were secretly in their cubicles reading AfterEllen.com.
He wasn’t alone in that concern. Several people said dressing in drag in public was a rare indulgence.
A good amount of gay men were in the audience as well. Very cool. The guys don’t exactly show up in droves for lesbian events in Los Angeles.
A panel of judges sat on stage, including Anna Conda, Jay Walker, Rusty Hips, and Simone de la Getto. The emcees were Fudgie Frottage and Sister Roma. After a lengthy intro, a number of contestants competed for this year’s title. According to their website, SFDragKingContest.com, “contestants are judged on talent, creativity, studliness, sex appeal, originality, humor, make-up/facial hair and fashion.”
One potential king dressed as Hitler and did an elaborate strip tease down to a very buoyant sex toy. He was compelling but I’m not a big fan of the swastika, regardless of intent to mock ruthless dictators.
Another duo dressed as plumbers, complete with exposed butt cracks.
Why is it that when men dress in drag they deck themselves out in the most gorgeous outfits imaginable? All flowing hair and sexy heels, they often look more feminine than most females.
But no drag kings seem to want to emulate, say, George Clooney. When Hitler’s the hottest we can do there’s a problem, ladies.
Longtime drag king Delicio del Toro was the victor. Pasties were involved.
I think I exhausted myself enough to stay home for a while. So maybe next month will be about Los Angeles. This column being called “L.A. Scene” and all.
