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The Lesbian Haircut Guide

Do you have one of these?  

(Photo by Allen Berezovsky/Getty Images for Fashion Media)

 

It’s important for us to be on the same page. Lesbians are known for our androgynous aesthetic, but like all styles, lesbian hair cuts evolve with time and taste. To clarify current (and past) trends, I’ve assembled this lesbian hair cut guide. Life’s too short to stick with the same boring crop, so you should try out one of these chic, short styles. Unless you know short hair doesn’t look good on you. In that case, please do not try one of these styles, because we have to look at you. As I tell my girlfriend when she lets her blonde pixie cut grow out, “That’s not being a team player.”

I consulted Irene, a coveted LA hairdresser with a long list of queer clients, for insight into the hair styles her lesbian clients ask for most. Here’s a comprehensive and highly subjective guide of lesbian haircuts. Style: The modern mullet is a swept-behind-the-ears, choppy version of the party/business appropriate ’80s sensation that evokes Bowie, not Billy Ray. Flexible length and optional bangs make this bold style casual and customizable.

Muse: Yolandi Visser of Die Antwoord, Kristen Stewart, and Tegan Quin. “Yolandi Visser made every girl gay or straight want a bowl cut with a mullet. She changed the mullet game with her version. PRAISE HER!” Irene exclaims. Yolandi Visser and Tegan Quin have the same face. That’s what I learned today after perusing pictures of mullets. If you too have an angular face, strong jawline, and boyish frame, the mullet would probably look weirdly sexy on you. Style: This “classic Vidal Sasson shape, the Facon, is a severe disconnection hair cut,” Irene explains. Also known as the Jimmy or the Darmody, the Michael Pitt is shorter through the sides, clippered all the way up, and left with length on top.

Muse: Michael Pitt, Miley Cyrus. Michael Pitt and Miley Cyrus have the same haircut.

Style: Everybody wants to look like James Dean! Known more broadly as the pompadour, the typical fop is worn with short sides, with the hair swept upwards and backwards. Pompadours are edging out to ever more extreme, angular heights with higher peaks and incorporation of the undercut. I’m spotting crazy pompadours on delicate bois I feel weird about being attracted to. One warning about pompadours: the higher the pompadour, the younger the girl. Pompadours are particularly flattering for round faces because it adds height, thereby balancing a wide face.

 

Muse: Janelle Monae, k.d. lang, Kiyomi McCloskey, James Dean, Elvis. Notorious fashionista k.d. lang, the “O.G. Butch who started the lesbian Pompadour,” revamped the Greaser aesthetic for girls who like girls back in the 90s. Decades later, the pompadour flourishes as an accessible androgynous style to try.

 

The Dapper

Style: The Dapper is an asymetrical double taper haircut. Ruby Roses hair length decreases as it goes from the top of the hairline to the sides and back, and her side part is razor shaved from the left temple. To get the look, cut the sides of your hair short around low-medium length, then cut the top at an angle so one side is longer than the other when you side slick it back.

Muse: Ruby Rose. “Ruby Rose taps into what k.d. started. However now we label it ‘dapper’: clean-shaved and part line. I’m a fan of this trend because The Dapper is the opposite of that messy, ‘I haven’t washed my hair since fashion week’ shag.” Irene explains. “Barbering has been blowing up because now men and women are wearing classic haircuts and intricate line work, so hot razor shaves to finish off the tapered shapes.”

 

The Bad Girl Riri

Style: Mohawk with a dash of mullet; that’s the cutting edge style Rihanna rocks and Irene’s clients beg for. To get the look, shave the back and sides of your head while leaving length on top to style into a textured mohawk. Grow out the bottom nape if you’re adventurous enough to try the full mohawk mullet hybrid. If you wanna pull off this harsh punk cut, you better be confident and/or pretty. Rihl Rihl pretty.

Muse: Rihanna. “I have so many requests for Riri’s mohawk, mainly because its still so feminine and stylized. Rihanna’s mohawk is aggressive, but still soft and demure.”

The Harry Styles

Style: Harry Styles‘ adorably tossed hairstyle is even cuter on girls because I’m gay and so are you. These floppy locks beg you to run your hands through them and whisper “no one knows you like I do.” Also known as a quiff, the Harry Styles is perfectly suited for an indie topknot and blood shot eyes. Magazines call The Harry Styles “windswept.” I call the Harry Styles “way harder than it looks.” You hair should be squeaky clean, then smothered with a vast array of expensive products.

 

 

Muse: Harry Styles, Renee Phoenix. “It’s my four months on tour haircut,” Renee tells me with a laugh. As the lead singer for Fit for Rivals, Renee’s rock star status makes her hair textured instead of greasy. Don’t assume your hair is the same.

Style: The asymmetrical undercut is the edgiest hairstyle of 2008. Every other female celebrity used a half shaved, half long skull to convey their rebellious originality. Then came the ravers, hipsters, wannabees, college kids, and a solid 30% of your friend circle, unless you go to Brigham Young or live in a convent. (Eh, no- Mormons wanted to be cool in 2008 , too; just look at Mitt Romney.) I contemplated an undercut in 2010 for roughly a week before imagining the growing out process.

Muse: Cassie, Kesha, Jada Pinkett Smith, Natalie Dormer, Skrillex. “This look is very dated to me, but I suppose it will always have a place in lesbian vanity. A symmetrical undercut is very 2008, but girls still rock it.” If you are guilty, consider yourself put on blast. May I suggest a smooth transition into The Dapper or The Michael Pitt?

 

Style: The Mussed, No Fuss is “a short, choppy, bed head style popular with mature lesbians who don’t want to fuss with their hair,” Irene says. The razor cut, easily styled, classically gay haircut is epitomized by mature lesbian idol Ellen Degeneres. Her jagged pixie cut is pinched at the top with product, ideal for women with fine to medium hair, and suited to almost every face shape.

Muse: Ellen Degeneres, Charlize Theron for a minute. The Mussed No Fuss is attractive yet boring, like Ellen Degeneres.

Style: She was skater girl I said see you later girl after the 18+ rock pop show. Lesbians who look like Justin Bieber is a website, book, and former internet sensation. The Bieber is a mussed, short crop very similar to The Mussed No Fuss without the top pinch and with slightly more length on the sides. While researching this article what I BELIEB to be AE’s very own Lphabet star Amy Jackson Lewis at #23.

Muse: Justin Bieber, Robyn Wright. “Skater girls and baby dykes still rock the young Bieber comb over,” Irene says.

Style: You know what it is. Sally Hershberger (the inspiration for Shane) pioneered this haircut and wore it herself, to sexy effect, for years. Here she is palling around with Joan Jett. Damn. Sally Hershberger is my new crush.

Muse: Meg Ryan, Sally Hersberger, Kate Moennig. “Moening’s character Shane was based off Sally Hersberger, who became famous for cutting Meg Ryan’s hair into a Shag,” Irene explains, “which is a classic Vidal Sasson haircut. So when girls show me a picture of Shane, I’m like ‘Oh you want a shag.’ The shag is a versatile haircut because it can be styled multiple ways, masculine or feminine, depend on the desired length.”

 

“Every lesbian has tried their styles because they have had short to long, messy to precision cuts,” Irene says. Tegan and Sara have tried every style on this list before settling on “artful normcore.”

If you’re looking for an aesthetic update or just want to look gayer, try one of Irene and my favorite styles and watch the pu$$y get tossed your way. Think I missed a style? That’s because I didn’t feel like writing any more! You can fill in the gaps in the comments or tell me on Twitter, Instagram, and Tumblr. You should also check out Irene’s insanely amazing style on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook and/or schedule a haircut with the exceptional stylist ASAP.

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