The AfterEllen.com Huddle: Our Superhero Identities

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There’s a whole lot of superheroine talk happening lately, like Supergirl’s costume reveal, an 11-year-old girl’s plea for DC to include more female superheroes, and YouTube superstars Hannah Hart and Grace Helbig‘s new project, Electra Woman and Dyna Girl. So for this week’s Huddle we imagined what our superheroine identities and powers would be.

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Bridget McManus: My superhero would be “The Bridge. ” I’d use my Libra-ness (and a little mind control) to encourage fighting parties to actually listen and take in the other side’s opinion to resolve conflicts quickly, easily and without violence. “The Bridge” will bridge gaps between cultures and bring people together. And, of course, I’d be in a leotard. #duh

Grace Chu: This is my superhero name. My power is that it is not pronounceable.

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Dara Nai: Walking the fine line between being sexy, and being an asshole, they call me “The Taint.”

Chloe: I’m “The Gemini”: all the personalities, all the time. 

Elaine Atwell: My name would be “The Feels “and I would possess the power to harness all my emotions into rays of pure energy.

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Chelsea Steiner: I think my superhero alter ego is the same as my derby name: “Challahback Girl,” defender of Judaism, carbs, and keeping shit bananas: B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

Kim Hoffman: “Stormer Castle”: Hair of green and blue, deeply inspired by the movie Heathers crossbred with the pizazz of the Misfits from Jem & the Holograms—flying invisibly through the sky. Her hideout: A foggy cemetery. Her sidekick: a cartoon version of Kristen Stewart. The land they live in: Ellen Page‘s garden (no really, her garden, not her like, lady garden). There, with their resting bitch faces combined, they fight off evil faeries and drink beer and play cards around a table. They also bring a shit ton of sunshine, sexy thunder storms and higher pay to women. 

Ali Davis: I am “The Catalyst.” My superpower is giving that little nudge that makes things happen. I arrive on the scene and suddenly people are talking to girls instead of staring at them from across the room, sending their short stories out to magazines, and giving firm, bad-assed explanations of why you NEED them in that awesome job. Projects get launched, protests hit the streets, and Elizabeth Warren runs for President. Plus a lot of making out, which is a side effect you can totally deal with, but go ahead and bitch. I’ll just wink.

Note: DO NOT confuse me with “The Cattle-ist.” That drives me up the walls. And I HAD MY NAME FIRST.
 
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Lucy Hallowell: I would be “Hankshaw” (due to my freakishly large thumbs). My superpower would be the ability to kick ass at thumb wrestling.
 
Dana Piccoli: I would be “Sireen,” and I’d use my voice to soothe the people and torture my enemies. A little bit country, a little bit rock and roll, all kick ass.
 
Valerie Anne: My superhero alter-ego is “Gaylor Swift.” When my superpowers activate, I can over-process any emotion and turn it into an easily digestible and relatable catchy tune or metaphor, shoot rainbow-colored laser beams at haters who are gonna hate hate hate hate hate, and make the straight girls gay for a weekend.
 
Trish Bendix: I’m going with “The Femme” and I will take down homophobia and the patriarchy with my heels while never once messing up my lipstick. (This is truly a dream scenario as I would totally sweat off all my make-up in the process of doing anything super.)
 
Your turn: What’s your superhero identity?

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