Girlfriends, Forever! From Long Distance to LTR

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Tara Abare (@TC52315) is a 30-year-old pediatric emergency room nurse who met her fiancée Carolyn online two years ago, and then moved 96 miles to be with her. After Tara left her hometown to live with Carolyn, the two got engaged on Valentine’s Day last year and now, they are planning their wedding and kids. In this week’s Girlfriends, Forever!, Tara shared some of the excitement, and challenges, of turning her long-distance romance into a lasting relationship.

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AfterEllen.com: Are you open about telling people that you met on the internet or do you make up another story?

Tara Abare: With the way things are nowadays, I have learned that more and more people meet on the Internet and find the happiness that they have been searching for. We tell people all the time. True story: We met on Plenty of Fish so our centerpieces at the wedding are going to be fish bowls with fish in them. The Venue has a large pond and they said it was OK to release them into the water after the wedding.

My cousin talked me into putting a profile up on plenty of fish because that is how she met her husband and the love of her life. After telling her no multiple times I finally agreed and connected with Carolyn within a few days. Out of all the responses I had received she stuck out from the rest and we were talking for hours at a time which led to meeting three days later—and we are living our happily ever after.

 

AE: Was it weird to go from long-distance (96 miles apart) to living together?

TA: It was a HUGE change for me to move 96 miles away from my hometown. I didn’t hesitate when it came to making the decision to move because I knew it was exactly what I wanted. Carolyn was more stable with her job and owning a home so it was more economical and reasonable for me to make the move.

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AE: Will it be hard to get your family and friends together for the wedding since you are from places that are so far apart?

TA: We are both very close with our families and they will do whatever it takes to make sure they are a part of our special day.

 

AE: What are your top three priorities when it comes to planning your wedding?

TA: When it comes to priorities for the wedding our number one this is budget. We found an amazing venue in Rochester called Shadowlake and they were able to meet all of our expectations and stay in our budget. Other priorities include making sure colors and decorations will look OK and making sure we choose a variety of food to make our guests happy.

 

AE: Are there any wedding choices that you disagree on? How did you compromise?

TA: We haven’t disagreed on much. I am the laid back half of the relationship and am not too picky when it comes to wedding planning. I do give my input when it is necessary or when asked. Overall, the planning has gone pretty smoothly.

 

AE: Are you worried about getting cold feet?

TA: One thing I do worry about is making sure our love stays strong as can be and give us the strength to be able to work through whatever obstacles come our way.

 

AE: How did you two get engaged?

TA: Last year in the middle of January, Carolyn and I went to the mall for something that I don’t remember exactly what it was. We had talked about popping the question to one another here and there, but that day in the mall we walked past Kay Jewelers and we both looked at one another and she said, “Do you want to go take a look?” There was no part of me that wanted to say no. We went in and tried some rings on and we both fell in love with each one we picked out. The rings were not purchased at that point. We went home and talked about it for the next few days. We went to a banquet a few days later and on the way home decided to stop in the Kay’s near our house. We found identical rings we had picked out at the other store… the exceptional salesman got us a deal on our two rings and next thing I know we are purchasing the rings. Of course they had to be ordered so we had a few weeks to plan a special night out. That special night out was on Feb 8th. We made reservations at PF Chang’s and we both wrote up a letter telling one another why we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. The manager, chef and waiter along with another waitress all came over to congratulate us on our engagement and gave us a free dessert to help us celebrate. We read our letters to each other at the restaurant and at that point it was official. As soon as we left the restaurant we called our parents and family to tell them the big news. That Valentine’s Day celebration will be one that we will NEVER forget.

Have ideas for topics you want to hear about? Know a great LTR couple we should interview? Send your cool stuff to LTRadvice@gmail.com.

Caitlin Bergh (@caitlinebergh) is a stand-up comic. Find out more at http://www.caitlinbergh.com 

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