Femmes, we feel for you and the problems you may have. Us androgynous or generally more masculine-presenting women have some of our own issues, too. Here are 13 of them.
1. “Excuse me, sir, you’re in the wrong restroom.” Because I do not know how to read signs.
2. Having a love/hate relationship with your bra. My bra size is “Medium.”
3. Dealing with a childhood full of suburban mall hairstylists who had no idea how to cut your hair. Child mullets are real.
4. Having to bring in dude haircuts to your stylist. Who among us is willing to admit they’ve brought a Justin Bieber photo (at least once)?
5. Little kids stare and ask you questions like you’re Tim Allen in The Santa Clause. “Are you a girl or a boy?”
6. When people ask you if you want to be a dude. Why, because I’m not a cheerleader?
7. Straight people tell you that you remind them of Ellen. That’s their version of a compliment.
8. Being expected to always carry the heavy shit or fix things when no guys are around.
9. Gender reveal parties make you cringe. Because pink does not equal girl and blue does not equal boy. I prefer yellow.
10. When you see another butch lesbian, in your head you’re like…
…but on the outside you’re like…
11. Wholly identifying with Zack Morris and hell bent on finding your Kelly…
12….which, in your youth, led you into the world of straight women.
13. Wearing a suit to weddings, funerals or other events with conservative family members who stare but hey, you know you fly.