My two secret powers are discovering lesbian subtext in everything and mishearing lyrics. So, when I first listened to Beyoncé‘s new song, “If I Were a Boy” I just wrote it off as my powers acting up.
But then I heard it again, and I thought to myself, “Beyoncé, sweetheart, you don’t want to be a boy; you want to be a lesbian.”
To wit: these are the things Beyoncé wants to do as a boy:
I’ve created a little comic strip called, “If I Were a Gay.” It’s based on The L Word‘s fifth season, and all the text is straight from Beyoncé’s mouth. I hope to help her find what she’s looking for.
If I were gay, even just for a day…
Unfortunately, Beyoncé’s song ends weirdly with the moral being that she wants to be a boy so her boyfriend can be a girl so that she (as him) can treat him (as her) like poop, to see how he likes it for a change. Or something.
Watch for yourself:
Beyoncé “If I Were a Boy”
Personally, I like my version better.