It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single celebrity woman in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Or at least a girlfriend. Or at very least someone to lesbian with. I mean, that’s just like the rules of feminism–wait, or was it Jane Austen?
Either way that universally acknowledged truth has reared its head again in the form of recent “rumors” (somebody tweeted) that have been “swirling” (some sites posted about the tweet) around superstar Taylor Swift and supermodel Karlie Kloss. The two women are already self-acknowledged BFFs, but now the scuttlebutt is that they were spotted totally making out. Yes, Taylor and Karlie are lesbianing together. Allegedly.
The proof was grainy, blurry photos and videos posted on Twitter by someone who saw them with their heads close together at a concert late last week. But it was #confirmed, you guys. Kaylor is real. I mean, it’s not like concerts are naturally loud and therefore conducive to people who might happen to be friends of the same sex putting their faces close together to hear each other speak over the music.
Now, this is not the first time some random speculations about Taylor’s sexuality have come up. Since they began BFFing earlier this year, Taylor and Karlie have been spotted out together all over town. And they also went to a Knicks game with each other and drank beer. You wanted proof of lesbianism? *Drops mic*
But wait, there’s more. This is also not the first famous woman Taylor has been coupled with in the headlines. T-Swizzle and her musical BFF Lorde (not to be confused with her Victoria’s Secret model BFF Karlie and feminist BFF Lena Dunham) have also sparked idle chatter about possible lesbianing earlier this year. This time it was because a radio DJ asked them if they were together, but not in the lesbian “Ellen together” way. Lorde, naturally, had an amazing retort:
The DJ sputtered and said he would love it if they were “Ellen together” and asked her to “confirm now you’re in a lesbian relationship with her?” Of course he did. Of course.
While I can not definitively tell you if Taylor and Karlie (or Lorde, or anyone else) are actually lesbianing together (though Taylor’s publicist has called the Kaylor rumors “crap”), I can tell you why rumors about famous single ladies being lesbian together tend to come up.
Our fascination with this prospect is two-fold. First, from a mass-media perspective, nothing is more tempting (and click baiting) than the thought of hot girl-on-girl action. And the prospect of a pop princess and a lingerie model getting it on is perhaps the ultimate hot girl-on-girl action.
Also, why else would two single women who do not seem to be concerned about finding the company of a man at that very moment possibly be hanging out together? Female friendship for the sake of female friendship seems so foreign to some people that it must be something else.
Plus, Taylor is a young woman who seems to go out of her way to surround herself with a large and eclectic group of female friends. And she has openly embraced feminism of late. Also, did you hear her openly sings, “You can want who you want, boys and boys and girls and girls?” So, obviously, she is The Gay. Otherwise, aren’t women always in catfights or something? Right? Right.
The other aspect of our fascination with Tay-Tay’s possible lady loving is a more personal one for all of us lesbian and bisexual women. Quite simply, we want it to be true because we want her to be like us. It’s a classic case of the Wishful Lesbian Thinking.
In a world where LGBT people are still regularly harassed, discriminated against and much worse just or being themselves, we long to see ourselves in the stars. We want the most famous, the most respect, the most glamorous and, yes, the most hot among us to be part of our community. It’s the universal desire to feel happier, less lonely, less alone in this world.
Also, there is the glorious delusion that just because someone who is famous is also gay, they might consider dating us. Oh, please, you know that one is true.
Whatever the truth about Taylor and Karlie, Taylor and Lorde, Taylor and a yet to be named female friend whose face she happens to get close to in the future, we can be assured that Taylor will shake off any negative connotations. And on the off chance she does have a blank space where she plans to write a lady’s name, I’ll be the first to send her a toaster oven.