Evan Rachel Wood is Dita Von Teese Version 2.0


Oh hey, look, it’s Dita Von Tee…eek! Wait, that’s not Dita. That’s, um, that’s. Oh God, that’s Evan Rachel Wood. It’s only taken her 14 months to completely and totally turned herself into her boyfriend Marilyn Manson‘s ex-wife, Dita Von Teese. The horror, the horror.

Rachel stepped out last night for The Life Before Her Eyes screening in New York. Rachel stars in the new thriller, which opens in limited release Friday, along with Uma Thurman. Her new so-brown-it’s-basically-black do made its public debut at the event and the result was startling — startlingly familiar, that is.

Look, as creepy as I think it is to that a 39-yer-old man is dating a 20-year-old girl and calls her his twin,” it’s even creepier that said 20-year-old girl has morphed herself into said 39-year-old man’s ex. It’s just yucky. Seriously, ewww. I could go on and on about the nearly 20-year-age difference, but what bugs me the most is how the couple happily plays up their Lolita dynamic, right down to the red heart-shaped sunglasses. Look, jailbait is fun and something to emulate. Whee! And then there was that video. Shudder.

As much as I appreciate everyone’s right to look how they want and as much as I know Marilyn’s prince of the goths act is all for show, I can’t help but be disturbed by Evan’s willingness to mold herself so completely Dita’s likeness. I mean, a few years ago she looked like this.

Ironically, I actually like the whole pale skin, red lips, dramatic eyes thing. I really do. But are none of Evan’s friends going, “Dude, what’s up with this whole Dita tribute thingie you’ve got going? It’s weirding me out.”

Evan is a prodigiously talented young actress. She forever stole a piece of my heart with her honest, open portrayal of questioning teen Jessie on Once and Again. So I truly hope that her new looks comes from her own genuine love for the vampiric pallor and not a desperate desire, subconsciously or otherwise, to please a partner’s preexisting preferences. I guess if she shows up sometime soon in a gigantic champagne glass, we’ll have our answer.

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