A Lesbian Love Story: “Coffee Shop”

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Mo Welch‘s new series follows lesbian love stories in different situations and scenarios. In the first, she follows Blair from her “Live from Lombard” comics.

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Blair had never been to the Lombard Coffee Shop. She saw it a couple times on her hour long walks around town, when she would get lost in the cul-de-sac infested streets of Lombard to clear her mind. After all, she was living with her mom again and needed to escape as much as possible. Today was the day she would drive her moms cherry colored Chevy Malibu to the shop to get that third wave coffee experience she missed dearly.

She walked in expecting to see a classic crowd of business people and old farty people but was pleasantly surprised to see what looked to be a real life lesbian working the register. It’s a tricky business, the coffee business. When you see a cute girl working that barista counter you have to ask yourself three questions:

1) Is she gay?
2) Is she a tiny man?
3) Is she looking at me in a customer service way or a flirty way?

Blair suddenly got nervous. She hasn’t encountered a lesbian in Lombard and I mean, not that this girl is a lesbian, she could just be a straight girl with lesbian tendencies. Wait, is that a Tegan and Sara lyric on her arm? Okay, this will be worth the risk for Blair, who may not see another lesbian for months.

“Hey.”

“Hi, how can I help you?”

“I’ll have a small latte and are you a lesbian?”

“Excuse me?”

“Sorry, that came out wrong. I would like a MEDIUM latte and are you a lesbian?”

The barista giggles at the awkwardness that is Blair. As the barista slams that espresso into the machine like a boss, she smiles ever so slightly and looks up at Blair.

“My name is Sam and yes, I’m a lesbian.”

“Cool. Cool. Me too.”

“I figured.”

“How so?”

Sam points at the ceiling which is plastered in mirrors. Blair looks up and sees herself. She sees Sam up there too and for the first time in days, since that night she jumped on a trampoline, she extends her lips into the biggest, brightest smile.

“Would you like to hang out sometime? Maybe get a coffee?”

“No.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, yes but I don’t want to get a coffee. That’s like asking a police officer if she would like to stop crime as a date.”

“Right. I get it. Well, I have a copy of Fried Green Tomatoes if you want to join me later. I watched it a couple days ago, but I just can’t get enough ‘TOWANDA’ in my life right now.”

“I would love to. Why don’t you write down your number and I’ll call you when I get out.”

“Perfect. My mom doesn’t get home until late, so we’ll have time.”

Sam is confused but before she can ask about her living situation, Blair has jotted down her number, grabbed her latte and run out. Sam is excited but has to hide it because she can only smile five times a day as a barista. She can’t believe she just met the spaghetti haired girl she saw walking outside of her dad’s house that day in the cul-de-sac. She feels like this is the first scene in a low rated lesbian romantic comedy on Netflix.

Check back soon for the next “Lesbian Love Story” and visit mowelch.com for more on the writer/artist.

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