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Interview with Sarah Bettens

Earlier this year, Sarah Bettens launched a solo career after ten years of partnering with her brother Gert in the internationally successful band K’s Choice. Bettens’ solo recording, Scream, showcases her husky alto in a blend of hard-rocking anthems and intimate ballads.

Bettens, who is originally from Belgium and lives with her partner and two stepchildren in Tennessee, spoke with AfterEllen.com the evening before Thanksgiving. She was in California, celebrating the holiday and spending a week with extended family. Her parents had flown in from Belgium and were meeting her partner of four years, as well as her partner’s parents, for the first time. According to Bettens, the meeting was proving to be a success.

AfterEllen.com: Since coming out, do you feel like you have to battle to keep your personal life private? Sarah Bettens: It’s been totally fine, actually. Right in the beginning, after I came out, I really didn’t feel like talking about it. I feel like in Belgium the press really had a hard time not talking about it. I just really wasn’t ready for it, because I just didn’t feel like I had anything good or interesting to say about it yet. And I felt like they were a little unrespectful about that. But aside from that, no one’s usually really that interested in my personal life. You know, people want to know what the songs are about, and they’re interested to hear what kind of family I have-and obviously I have two kids. But the things I feel are really private, I feel like people don’t really ask about that. So it’s been fine.

AE: And how long ago was that that you came out and there was a media frenzy? SB: A little over four years ago. It was all… The reason why I didn’t really feel like talking about it is that it was all new to me too. So it wasn’t like I had been living in a closet for ten years and finally I was ready to, you know, take the plunge, and that I have so many things to say about it. It was all new to me too, so it took me a while to kind of adapt and just get some sense of what that meant for me personally. Now I feel like I want to talk about it, and I definitely want to show girls that they can be out and happy and comfortable and fine and successful-all at the same time. So now I have more of a sense that I want to contribute somehow. I want to do something more even, but at the time then, that first year, I just didn’t feel ready.

AE: It’s like people expected you to come out and have a speech prepared. SB: It was always about that, and I had a brand new record and I just wanted to talk about my record? I thought, come on, you guys. I just made a record. This is important to me. This is what I want to talk about. I don’t want to be the lesbian, you know?. I just want to be the singer who happens to be a lesbian. So, that’s just something I had to get used to, I guess, at the beginning.

AE: You said that now you feel ready to talk more, and you want to do more. Have you actually been able to branch out from your music? SB: I’m just kind of slowly, slowly getting there, I guess. I was very happy to play at this Power Up event [in Los Angeles] a couple of days ago. It’s this organization that supports lesbians in film and TV. It was great to be a part of that. I’m doing a benefit in about a week and a half in Salt Lake City for a girl who’s fighting for custody with her lesbian partner, or ex-partner, I should say. In my songs I feel like I’m more involved than I used to be-more politically involved-and I think that’s something that’s going to continue. And I will keep looking for projects and ways to be more visible that way.

AE: Being a celebrity you have this public forum where you can do this-but I would imagine that you also have people approaching you, where you’re able to do this on a more personal level. One-on-one, as people come to you. SB: Right. Which is great. I’ve always been, even before I was in K’s Choice, very approachable with fans. And I love to hear their feedback about my music and feel why it was special to them. It’s always been great to talk with people about the songs you write, because they’re always personal to me too, and they mean something. So to know that they mean something to someone else too, and maybe for a different reason, is always interesting for me to know.

I’ve gotten letters and people have come up to me, and I know there are girls out there who are struggling with some of the same issues that I struggled with or am still struggling with. So to know that it can help them, or to just be the support that they need, it’s sort of an easy thing for me to do. So it’s nice to be able to do that.

AE: You mentioned your band, K’s Choice. I don’t know if you can even say, but do you feel like when you’re playing shows now that there’s a large percentage that’s K’s Choice fans who are out to see what you’re up to now, or do you think that a lot of your audience now might not have known you from K’s Choice? SB: Um, in a way, it’s a little like starting over. But also I feel like a lot of people know “Not an Addict” [a 1995 K’s Choice single that became an international radio hit] and don’t know K’s Choice. Or know K’s Choice but don’t know that I’m from K’s Choice. So it’s a little bit of a re-education. You know, letting people know that that’s me.

And at the same time just starting over, hoping to find new fans, people who have really never heard of K’s Choice, or never heard “Not an Addict,” and hoping that the music will speak for itself. It’s so hard these days, and not just in Europe. Anyone who makes a new record, no matter what you’ve done before or the shows you’ve done before or the hundreds of records you’ve sold before. It’s kind of like every time you make a record you have to put yourself out there again and you have to work hard again just to make anything happen. It’s been hard work, but really, really fun.

AE: In what ways has it been hard? SB: Well, I don’t like to dwell on it too much because I’m so grateful that I’ve been able to do what I do for a living for twelve years, and I’ve never really had to get a real job. But like I said, you almost have to start at the bottom each time, and maybe do things that you don’t want to do. You’re away from home a lot, and constantly trying to find your balance, and reinventing how you want to handle it. It’s almost like you never really get into a groove, where you’re fine and comfortable. Of course, I would never, ever want a 9-to-5 job. I really don’t want to, but there’s something”and I’ve talked about this with many people who travel for their work”there’s something appealing about it. Because that’s not something we have. We can’t get into a routine. There’s no time for a routine. You’re home for two weeks and by the time you’ve settled in and unpacked your bags, it’s almost time to plan to leave again. It’s the same thing when you’re on the road, and then you come back home and have to adapt to that situation again. Like I said, I hate complaining, and I don’t want you to think that it is complaining, but if there is a hard part about this it’s definitely that”constantly trying to find your place in all of it.

AE: And it must be tough, too, with children and with a partner. That’s got to be harder, unless they’re able to tour with you. SB: They’re not, I mean, they’ve been able to come visit once in a while. But that’s definitely an extra challenge, because now I miss being home more now than I used to. And so, as much as I love being on the road, once I’m gone for a couple of weeks, I just want to be home. Then in another couple of weeks I really want to go back on the road. But, I mean, I really do love it. And I’m surrounded by great people. I’m very lucky that way. The people in my band and my management”you know, all those people have really taken good care of me. And all are very good at what they do and love what they do. So it’s been a blessing more than anything else. But, like I said, it’s not always easy.

AE: So you were saying that in some ways, even though you have all of this work that you’ve done before, with each new recording it’s like starting over again? SB: Yeah, You know, making this solo record, all of a sudden you just kind of have to start over. And for me, the reason why we wanted to do it, why it was exciting to us was that it would give us the new sense of adventure that maybe after four studio albums with K’s Choice we’d been missing a little bit. Maybe at that point, we didn’t get into some kind of routine. With K’s Choice we knew how we were going to do it, how we were going to get together and record the record and the shows we were doing in Europe. It was all kind of feeling like, all right, we’re going to do this again, and we didn’t have the level of excitement that we thought we should about making a new record. And then when my brother and I decided to start over do a solo project and see what happens it kind of gave both of us a sense again that this was new and exciting and such an adventure. And as difficult as it is to kind of start at the bottom again, and play earlier at the festivals that you maybe used to headline, and get paid less money to play, and less people show up at the clubs”all this things are kind of like, all right. It kind of puts your feet back on the ground. But it did give a sense of, wow, this is exciting. This is a lot how it felt in the way beginning. That was kind of thing that we were going for.

AE: Yeah, I can imagine that there would be something really liberating about that. To feel some – I don’t think you can really have any anonymity now – but at least some glimmer of that that you really couldn’t have in K’s Choice. If it’s even possible now, to have a little less recognition now seems like it would be liberating. SB: Yeah, I know it’s a lot of things at the same time: sobering and liberating and it’s back to reality a little bit. I’ve done a couple of things where I can see myself from above while I’m playing, and I’m thinking, what the hell am I doing here? Gigs that were very tough. But at the same time, it kind of wakes you up a little bit. But that’s always good.

AE: Sure. And I guess I really shouldn’t have said less recognition. It’s more of a chance to have new recognition. You get to sort of create this new identity, even though you have all this history. People are always going to be asking you about K’s Choice, but you do get to reinvent yourself to some degree. SB: No, that’s true. And I like that. It doesn’t always now come with a ten-year history. I can start over a little bit, so you’re right.

AE: What do you feel like you’ve been able to explore musically that maybe you couldn’t or just weren’t doing before recording solo? SB: I think it was a little bit, um without sounding too egocentric about this K’s Choice was more of a band band. And when I made my solo record and I started talking to my producer about what I wanted to do, and I remember him telling me: “This record is going to be all about you. I’m going to record your voice the best way I can. And anything we put on that record that’s not your voice is going to be in function of your voice and in function of the melody.” It was just more focused that way. And I think when we made K’s Choice recordsnot that I didn’t get the respect that I deserved, because that’s never been a complaintit was just not focused that way. We would focus on what we wanted to sound like, a real band. We wanted to sound live, we wanted to sound spontaneous. We had different goals. And I think this record that way is just a little more focused.

And also, for me, knowing that this was going to be a solo record, I focused on that part more lyrically also, knowing that this is really mine not half my brother’s and half mine. It’s really my songs and this is the first solo album. And when people listen to this record I want them to get a sense of who I am, where I am in my life and what matters to me. So, without really giving it that much thought while I was writing, I think just subconsciously I was aware of that. And I wanted to dig a little deeper, and really let what’s deep inside come out from this record.

Musically it’s very comparable to K’s Choice you know, I always wrote half of the songs for K’s Choice, I play guitarĂ¢ I wrote all the songs for this record. I write all year long. I never set aside a time to write, and I still write in the same way. So nothing’s changed that much. Just the overall focus of it and the way of recording, knowing that this was going to be all the way mine

AE: The focus is all on you, so the responsibility is all on you. But you also get all of the credit. SB: Yeah, that’s something that I really loved about it. It’s the combination of the added responsibility which is exciting and a little scary and the freedom at the same time. I don’t have to make that phone call to Belgium every time to make sure that we agree or make a compromise, even though I will work with my brother again for sure, and we always loved working together. And we were always very close on what we wanted, so it’s not like K’s Choice records were compromise records. When I want to go one way and he wants to go the other way we still have to find a solution. When you’re alone that solution would be different than when you’re meeting halfway. I love the idea that this is really me, that I’m responsible when it fails and I get the credit when it works. I like that a lot about this project.

AE: It sounds like from what I’ve read that you had a really peaceful partnership with your brother, that things were easy. That’s lucky. SB: Oh, yes. I’m so lucky with that. Nothing has been as easy as working with my brother. He’s very sweet, he’s very easygoing and extremely talented. We have such a huge, deep love and respect for each other, and we have so much fun together. Any band issues were always with someone else”a third, fourth or fifth person. Between the two of us we were pretty much always on the same page.

We had a little two-week tour in South Africa about a month ago. The K’s Choice compilation record came out there a little later than everywhere else and we got the opportunity to go play. So in the middle of our solo projects we’re like, all right, let’s go do it. Why not? The chance to be able to go. We’d been doing things separately and it was so refreshing to play with him again, and it was so easy, comfortable and fun. We talked about what we were going to do next and, of course, we came to no conclusions at all. But we know for sure that at some point we’re going to want to do something together again.

AE: That’s great. And in the meantime do you think you’ll ever play with Woodface”do a show where you’re doing your solo work together? Or do you think of it more as a K’s Choice reunion when you guys work together? SB: You know what? I have no idea. Because that’s what a lot of our conversations were about, and we couldn’t come to a conclusion. So many things have changed, people in the band that have moved on to different things. Not that everyone couldn’t come back together, but it wouldn’t be the same. At this point I just can’t say whether if it did come all back together again that that is really the optimal way for us to do it. It’s really hard to say. The only thing we know is that he and I will end up doing something together again. We just won’t be able to help it, that’s what we’re going to want to do. But in what capacity, when and how”that’s all up in the air.

AE: How many years apart are you two? SB: He’s two and a half years older.

AE: It sounds like you guys grew up always being close? SB: When we were kids we fought a lot, like all brothers and sisters do. But from early teenage years on we were good friends and hung out with the same people. I dated his friends and he dated my friends and we always kind of hung out with the same posse. We ended up going to the same parties and at some point started singing together at home and getting the guitars out. So we’ve been great friends for a long time.

AE: Can you tell me about the Yellow Umbrella tour you both did recently? SB: It’s a tour to raise awareness for cervical cancer, and the girl Christine Baze who organized the tour is a survivor. It’s kind of been her goal for the last couple of years since she beat cancer to let women know that there are questions you can ask your doctor, there are tests that not everyone gets that maybe you should get. And just kind of spreading the word. Be smart with your body, take good care of your body. Cervical cancer is detectable and there are ways to beat it. It’s just been her mission and she’s attached the tour to it. And last year we did it with K’s Choice for four weeks, which was really, really fun.

This year I opened for Duncan Sheik, and David Poe is on the tour too and Christine so it’s four bands. And it’s great, because Christine became an instant friend last year, and I was very happy that I was able to do it again this year. I feel like it’s really being part of something bigger than myself. You know, bigger than my record or my music or whatever. So I felt really good about being able to do that again. It’s her goal to keep doing the tour and hopefully make it grow more and more and more, so that at some point everyone will know about it. It’s her goal to get to a point where cervical cancer is no longer an issue.

AE: How did you first find out about the tour? Did they approach you? SB: Yeah, she approached my management and told them “I’m a K’s Choice fan. This is something I want to do. I want to tour September/October.” He called her back right away and said that’s exactly the time we want to tour with K’s Choice. He talked to me about it. We were all for it right away, and then we just started working on it, trying to make it happen, put together the tour and stuff. Once we started doing it, it felt really right. It felt really good. So I’m hoping that it’s something that I’m going to be able to do more. Maybe not next year but just something that I’m always going to be able to be part of.

AE: You started out at the very beginning recording solo, before you were recording with your brother – is that correct? SB: Yeah. That was so short-lived, though. I mean, it was important and it was vital to being able to start K’s Choice. But it was a very, very short period of time when I barely knew what was going on. I got signed and got asked to do this song for a Belgian short film it was a Hank Williams song and it got instantly successful in Belgium and that’s how we were kind of able to start the band. So, it did start off that way but I never think about that until someone reminds me of it, Because I really feel like the beginning was always the band, and that’s in the end the thing that I always wanted to do: make my own songs and have a band.

AE: So the solo work that you’ve now been doing, to you it doesn’t seem like it’s returning to where you started? This is a new experience to you? SB: It’s new, yeah. Because at that point in time I didn’t feel ready to do things on my own. I really wanted to do it with my brother. I didn’t feel ready to write an entire record, you know? I just wasn’t there yet. And two years ago I felt like, all right, after ten years of this, of really developing as a songwriter, now I’m really ready. So it’s very different than that one single I did 12 years ago.

AE: When you became, at first in Belgium, this instant success”did you feel like you woke up and all of a sudden you’re touring with Morphine, Alanis Morisette, the Indigo Girls and the Proclaimers? Did you feel like you woke up in the midst of it or were you kind of aware as it was happening of where it was going? SB: Um, a little bit of both. I felt like, on the one hand, things happened gradually for us, and we always kind of had a little bit of time to adapt to whatever was coming next. But, on the other hand, I feel like it did happen in the very beginning really very fast for us. We were really not such a great live band yet and we were already opening for Morphine and Ryan Adams in France. It’s our first record and we have video footage of that on the K’s Choice DVD and it’s so funny how, I mean, we were just ecstatic that we were there. I mean, I don’t think we really sucked, but we were probably not that good yet. So things did fall into place for us early. But at the same time I feel like we always worked very, very hard. Meaning that we did a lot of support tours where it was all investing in a future, in a real career. Not just accepting the gigs that were going to make us some money, but accepting all the gigs that had any kind of potential of getting us to the next step. Because that’s what we wanted to do. We wanted not to just have one great hit record and that was it. We’ve always wanted to just do it always. And if there was one goal I had to name, I think that that’s what I’d say. If I never get a gold record in the States, if I never sell a lot of records, if I never sell out a 2,000-capacity club in the States…if I can say that all I’ve done is music for 25 years, then that’s a much bigger goal for me. Being able to do what I love to do. So, we always really worked hard. We played a lot, did a lot of touring, did a lot of shows, a lot of promotion. I’m still of that philosophy, also because I love it. I love playing live. If I didn’t love it I wouldn’t do it. But I also just think it’s good to do, even if I don’t always feel like it.

AE: We were talking about what your experience has been working solo, having all the responsibility as well as all of the credit, and how before that you had worked in partnership, with your brother. Well, the record industry, at least in the U.S. is notoriously sexist, and I’m curious if you’ve had to experience any of that working solo now or if you’ve been spared that. SB: I think in general I’ve been pretty lucky. Like I said before, I’ve been lucky to have been surrounded by great people who have always shown me a lot of respect. Everyone in my band has always been great that way. And I think maybe the record industry is one area where a woman can make as much money as a man can. If we sell a lot of records it will make the same amount of money as when a man sells a lot of records. But at the same time, I guess what I do notice is that”and it hasn’t happened that much, but it’s just something that’s underlying that I feel”in K’s Choice, for example, people always assumed that my brother wrote the songs.

We signed Gert and Sarah Bettens on every single song. The entire K’s Choice catalog is signed Gert and Sarah Bettens, even though he and I always write separately. 100% separately, lyrics and music. Then we come together an tweak the song a bit, but the actual writing is always separate. It’s kind of fifty-fifty on K’s Choice records, his songs and mine. And the reason why we did that is we felt like it’s easier that way. We’ll never fight over whose songs will be on the record because it just won’t matter that way. The financial part is it’s just both of ours.

And so unless you’re a hard-core K’s Choice fan and you’re writing on the forum and stuff, most people don’t know which songs are mine and which songs are my brother’s. But my brother would get nominated for songwriting awards, and I thought, that’s funny. They don’t know who wrote these songs and it might’ve been based on songs that I wrote. And I know that that is a male-female things. I know that people think that maybe I write some lyrics and maybe I write some melodies, but the bulk of the songwriting is done by him.

AE: Wow. I’m really surprised actually that you were receiving that kind of- SB: But that’s just from outside, people I don’t know. I feel like within the people that I work with, I’m lucky enough that that’s never really been a problem.

AE: And I guess when I talk about the record industry, it’s a huge, impersonal entity, and your experience of it is going to be based on the people you work with in it. So it’s great that you’ve had good people and good experiences with it. SB: Record company people are hard to work with whether you’re a man or a woman. They’re always kind of a little but of a pain in the ass, and especially major record companies. It’s all about money, and all the cliches I could possibly tell you right now, they’re all true. It’s always hard, but I don’t know if that has anything to do with me being a woman. I will say that in finding a label for this solo record in the States was very, um, confronting in a way that people would flat-out say without any apology or hesitation that she’s too old. I like the record, I think the songs are great, but we’re looking to sign 22- or 23-year-olds.

AE: Wow. I think you’re the same age as me. [Laughs] Weren’t you born in ’72? SB: Yeah.

AE: I’m really surprised. I know the industry is biased towards young artists, but, I don’t know, I guess I like to think that early thirties is still in the young category, but clearly not! SB: Yeah, it’s very sad, not only that this happens because I know that this happens but to think that it’s come to a point where people aren’t even embarrassed about that. You know, they’re not even embarrassed to say it. They don’t even try to say, like, “You know what? We have too many artists right now, or we already have an artist on our label that’s kind of the same.” They don’t even try to cover it. They’ll just flat-out say it and it’s not even a problem. I think that’s very sad, that it’s gotten to that point. Especially when you know that so many people are still buying real music. There’s a market for that, and I just feel like people don’t really tap into that.

It’s a struggle for anyone to make a new record, and you can only imagine what it’s like for a woman over 35. It’s like Hollywood or something, where after a certain age you can either play a mom or someone’s grandma or evil stepmom, but the really interesting roles will go to 20-year-olds.

AE: I don’t think there’s any excuse for it but I can almost see some justification for it in acting, in that you have roles written for a specific age and you need people who are able to portray that. But when you’re talking about music, I don’t understand. SB: And especially because a lot of people don’t care, you know? And not just the people who come to my shows, just people in general. Unless you are 13, you don’t have to someone who is also 13. Anyone grown-up that I’ve talked to, nobody cares. People just want to put on a record and enjoy it. Even the most unattractive people have made fantastic records, so it just doesn’t really matter. Or it shouldn’t matter. But then it still does. And then things like American Idol now, it’s all about instant entertainment. But we could talk and complain about this all day long, but all we can do you in your job and me in mine is continue what we love to do, what we think is good. And then just hope that the tide at some point will maybe turn back our way.

AE: I think it’s all about connecting audiences to potential fans – they’re just looking for something that moves them. Unfortunately it gets mediated by this industry that’s deciding who they’re going to get to hear or even get to know about. But it is a reality. Do you think it’s any different in Europe, in the different industries in countries there? SB: No. Not really. Every country’s different. In Belgium it’ll be a whole different thing than in Holland, and then in France you get a whole different industry world again. But every country struggles with the same problems. It’s mass media. And there’s an American Idol in Belgium and there’s one in France. It’s all this instant, fast pop songs, where people write songs from 9 to 5 and give them to the best-looking person. And then people think that that’s what people want. I like to think more that people want, like you said, that people want to be moved, you know? For real. They really want to be moved. That’s what music is about. Yet it’s still the instant-ness of a pop hit that people keep looking for. They don’t want to invest in artist development, and sign an artist that’s going to make four records with them and hope that by the fourth record they’re ready to play bigger shows. What people really want is someone who doesn’t even necessarily have to sing live.

You know, that horrible Ashlee Simpson thing was so sad on Saturday Night Live. Not because she wasn’t singing live but because it’s so obvious that she doesn’t, that so many of them don’t. I just thought it was sad that people made such a big deal about that, as if no one knew it. Or that Saturday Night Live is one of those rare shows where there’s live music”I think it’s sad that Saturday Night Live has artists that don’t sing live. Those guys should take a stand and get real artists to play someone who can sing live and a band that can play live. I don’t know. It surprised me that nobody knew. Of course it’s all taped. And it’s sad that people don’t care about that. But again, I think you can expect more of people, and in the end, maybe people care more than we think that the media just keeps feeding what’s fast and easy, because it’s not costing them a lot of money to just get a pop star and get her to pretend to sing a song.

AE: So, in what ways do you want to challenge yourself in the future? With future projects, is there any direction that you see that you want to grow in? SB: Um, I hope I keep doing just that, like you said, just challenging myself, and maybe do movie projects and write for other people. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while. Set up something for myself so I can easily write songs and then send them to people. I like to write for a specific project, you know, where it’s not necessarily for my record. Really something where I can pretend to be someone else and then write a song. I’ve done that before and I’ve always really enjoyed it, so I want to go a lot further in that and then hopefully continue into writing for TV and movies. And hopefully continue to make records that I really enjoy making, and that I can be very proud of.

AE: So, if you hadn’t been a musician, what do you think would’ve become of you? SB: Um, I might’ve been a photographer. I was studying photography in college when I quit because I just could not do both. It’s a very time-consuming hobby, so I couldn’t combine it and stopped doing that. But it’s still a hobby of mine, and I think when this all fails, I’ll probably do that again, and maybe a little more professionally than I’m doing it now.

AE: Well, I have to tell you, I love the record. SB: Thank you very much.

AE: Yeah, it’s fantastic. It’s so funny. You know, I get sent copies of things to review or to interview artists, and once in a while, one like yours comes along where I actually feel a little guilty that I got it for free. So I have to make a point of buying a copy for a friend and telling other friends to buy it because I really liked it. SB: [Laughs] That’s cool.

AE: Thank you so much for speaking with me. SB: Thank you.

AE: Sure. And I hope you have a happy Thanksgiving and a good time with your whole extended family there. SB: Thank you very much. Happy Thanksgiving to you too.

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