This week there were reports of Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan spending some time together in New York and lesbians lost their minds with excitement. (At least all the ones on my Facebook feed, anyway.) This got me to thinking about couples we’d like to see back together, like Ellen and Anne Heche. Just kidding! But here our our real picks for some we’d like to see reunite.
Grace Chu: I want Roy and Silo, two male penguins at the Central Park Zoo, to reunite. The two were adorable and were inseparable for six years. They even hatched an egg together. But trouble came when another couple forced them out of their nest. It must have been hard getting evicted by a couple of aggressive jerks. Losing one’s home would strain any relationship, and that little minx Scrappy — fresh out of Sea World — saw an opportunity and pounced on Silo, leaving poor Roy all alone. Roy and Silo belong together. Scrappy is a homewrecker, and I have only one thing to say to her: to the left, to the left!
“I thought penguins mated for life?”
Courtney Gillette: Carson McCullers and the smoking hot Swiss writer Annemarie Schwarzenbach. They never actually ever really totally got together (in typical Carson McCullers fashion, Carson was nuts about her, yet Annemarie did not reciprocate), but if we’re gonna put bids in for couples to reunite, I’m rooting for this one. Of the Swiss heartthrob McCullers wrote “She had a face that I knew would haunt me for the rest of my life.” Seriously: treat yourself right today and Google image search Annemarie Schwarzenbach. Haunting doesn’t even begin to describe it!
“Let’s come back from the dead and really stir things up.”
The Linster: I want Kate Kane and Renee Montoya to get back together because, lesbian crimefighting team? Amazing.
“OK, but I’m on call.”
Lucy Hallowell: I would like to see Amy Poehler and Tina Fey get back together at the SNL Weekend Update desk. I know they are busy with their own shows, working on the night cheese, raising some kiddos, and generally being awesome. But just maybe they could consider getting back together for this election cycle. Help us, Amy and Tina, you’re our only hope.
“People seem to enjoy when we’re just in the same room.”
Mia Jones: I would really like Lindsay Lohan to get back together with her old face and red hair. Best case scenario would be getting back to Mean Girls LiLo but I think that ship has sailed. Now, I’d even be happy with the slightly too skinny, blonde, non-fake-tan, non-fake-lipped Lindsay with only a little bit of a drinking problem.
“Can anyone introduce me to the girl who sings ‘Built This Way’ from the soundtrack?”
Karman Kregloe: While I personally cannot fathom the need to ever get back together with an ex, I’m not ashamed to advocate it for others in service of my own selfish needs. The (never officially confirmed) Amber Heard/Tasya van Ree split has meant no more, um, artistic, videos of Heard in various states of vampy undress from her photographer/filmmaker partner. I just really miss the art!
Emily Hartl: I realize that my response might be the most reminiscent of baby dyke thoughts of them all, but I’m still devastated over the split of Sara Quin and Emy Storey. How adorable were they? It also seems it’s turned Sara into some kind of romantic pessimist who doesn’t believe in a permanent and monogamous relationship. What the f–k, Sara? You’re supposed to be the nice and bubbly one. Get back into her head and find out where the good went.
“I promise none of those songs were about you — unless you want them to be.”
Bridget McManus: If I’m allowed to resurrect the dead then I want to see a Golden Girls reunion.
Heather Hogan: I realize this is a really controversial thing to say here at AfterEllen.com, but I want to assure you that I rent my clothes in twain and wore sackcloth and ashes for an appropriate amount of time after Maya St. Germain got killed. But it would be a shame for Emily Fields (and me!) to sit in mourning for the entire next season of Pretty Little Liars. Her girlfriends get axe murdered. It’s a thing that happens. We’ve got to move on. And so in the spirit of triumph over death and severe bangs, I’d like to see Emily give it another go with Paige. Because: a) The actors have sizzling chemistry. And b) I think Paige is a fascinating character, due to her Spencer-caliber levels of being unhinged. And c) I just really like Lindsey Shaw’s voice. And d) I WANT TO SEE EMILY MAKE OUT SOME MORE. SUE ME.
“Remember when I tried to drown you? Let’s make out.”
Ali Davis: I think I’d like all the couples from ’50s lesbian pulp novels to get another shot. They got to yearn for each other or even make out a little bit, but then the price they had to pay was that someone always had to drive off a cliff or go insane or marry a businessman. Think of what they could get away with now!
“If you can just wait another 25 years or so, we can make this work!”
Trish Bendix: I wish things had worked out for Kristanna Loken and Michelle Rodriguez. What a hot couple they were! And after they split it seemed like Michelle went a little wild for a while so obviously it was tough on her. She’d probably be much happier with Kristanna. Who wouldn’t be? (And vice versa.)
“If I can’t have you, no one can.”
What couple would you love to see get back together again?