Penelope Cruz can’t decide between Scarlett Johansson and Charlize Theron

You can always count on Vanity Fair to match their in-depth interviews with some seriously smokin’ photographs, and this month’s cover story on Penelope Cruzis no different. Perhaps the most pressing question posed to Penelope, however, was the one that went something like this: Who was a better kisser, Charlize Theron or Scarlett Johansson?

Of course, Cruz couldn’t answer that question publicly without angering her former on screen lovers: “No matter how I answer that I will be in trouble. Both were pretty beautiful partners.”

In 2006, however, when Cruz was asked to name her best on-screen kiss by the New York Post, she gushed, “Can I say Charlize Theron?” “Yes. Charlize, Charlize, Charlize,” speaking of her co-star in 2004’s Head in the Clouds.

This still leaves the Theron versus Johansson question unanswered, since at that point she hadn’t kissed Scarlett yet, but judging by what I’ve seen in both movies — Head in the Clouds and Vicky Cristina Barcelona — the lesbian relationships, however brief, are pretty intense.

Cruz doesn’t seem to mind all the media attention regarding her same-sex onscreen escapades, since she herself admitted to perpetuating rumors of a real-life lesbian relationship between herself and Salma Hayek: “I grabbed Salma’s ass just to keep things moving, because everyone was a little slow.”

She also never hides her general admiration for women. She discussed her fascination with women in school with Vanity Fair:

It was my first acting school. I would pretend to be doing my homework, but I was really observing the women. I found their behavior mesmerizing — what they were hiding, how they left feeling a little different after they’d been helped to become a little more like whom they wanted to look like. They treated the place a little bit like a psychologist’s office. They would share all their secrets.

Sure, Cruz is dating Javier Bardem, but could she be bisexual? Who knows, but she seems open to the idea. Until then, we can decide for ourselves who would be a better kisser. This week, after Charlize Theron’s appearance on The View, she has my vote. She said on marriage:

I don’t want to get married because right now the institution of marriage feels very one-sided, and I want to live in a country where we all have equal rights … I have so many friends who are gay and lesbian and would so badly want to get married, and I wouldn’t be able to sleep with myself.

You tell ‘em, girl. Here’s a clip of her appearance:

The only request I can make when it comes to the battle for the best on-screen lesbian kiss is this: Let’s try it a few more times, ladies. I need more content in order to be a fair judge.

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