“Painkiller Jane” Recaps: Episode 1.4 “Catch Me if You Can”

Workout — Jane follows the clue to Brinker's Gym, where she finds Ethan. Well, actually she hears him. He's hiding in the gym but talking to her across the rows of lockers in which he is hiding. Ethan sounds kind of relieved to see her, and she is quick to tell him that she believes his premonitions, including the one about her team.

Jane: How do I stop it?

Ethan: You've gotta understand by now, you can't stop fate. No one can. It's like a living thing. It swallows us all into darkness.

Jane: What are you doing here? Why did you send me that warning?
Ethan: On the slim chance that you might save us all from the abyss.
Jane: I don't understand.
Ethan: These disasters I see, they don't just spontaneously happen. There's a chain of events that leads up to each one.
Jane: Where do I fit in?

Ethan: By the time I see what will happen, my opportunity to break the chain has already passed.

Jane: But not for me.
Ethan: You're our only hope. As futile as it may seem, it's your only chance to save your friends from the darkness that's been written on them.

In addition to being precognitive, Ethan is also a drama queen.

Jane tells him that she tried to warn her crew, but they won't listen to her. Ethan snaps, “Now you know how I feel.” Jane tells him about the orange door at the Tosrona factory, and she asks him to stay away from it. She tries to convince him to let her take him into custody — safely. But Ethan keeps yammering about fate and destiny, so she takes the hard line with him instead.

She tells him that if anyone on her team gets hurt, she's holding him personally responsible. But Ethan's not hearing it. He keeps insisting that their fates are in Jane's hands. She tries to chip him, but Ethan doesn't want to have his “gift” taken away from him. He tells her, “Sorry, Jane, it doesn't happen this way.” And he's right, because at that moment two guys who have taken way more steroids than Andre enter the room and forcibly remove Jane from this “men only” territory.

Shake it up — Jane returns to headquarters, determined to “break the chain” one way or another. She shoots Riley and The Ugly One (With tranquilizers? Neuro chips? Botox? I'm just not sure) and they both go down for the count.

Dr. Feelgood — Riley and The Ugly One wake up in the infirmary with Dr. McDorky quizzing them about how they came to be tranquilized. McDorky tells them that she calibrated the dose to keep them both out for an hour, and then breaks the really bad news to Riley. Oh, he'll be fine, but there's been some damage to his “work station.” Noooooo! Not the computers! Noooooooooooo!

All right, Riley doesn't say that, but we all know that’s what he's thinking.

Heartbreaker Maureen announces that she went to Jane's apartment, where a suitcase and some of Jane's things were missing. Andre knows what she's doing. “Jane is still trying to change the future Ethan Grant predicted … without her, the premonition can't play out.”

While Riley tries to salvage something from the wreckage of his beloved computers, Andre and Heartbreaker Maureen head back to Sarah's house in hopes of finding Ethan.

Like 24 but without the palpable tension — We're treated to the split-screen effect as we see Jane driving and eventually rolling to a halt because her car has overheated. Meanwhile, the Geek Squad is doing the really dangerous stuff — checking sheets on Sarah's pull-out bed for any lingering Ethan DNA, rifling through garbage cans and pulling hair samples from the shower drain.

This is a good time to go get a soda or take the dog for a walk. Or both. And if you time it right, you will miss a brief but still pointless voiceover from Jane (see below).

Vasco V.O.: The car had overheated and so had I. The only thing that mattered to me was that I not be able to get back in time to fulfill my destiny.

Hack job — Back at Headquarters, McDorky is performing his one-man show version of CSI (mercifully, sans unitard). Andre has him running samples on everything they collected, including some dirt. When McDorky tells him that it may take months to get dirt sample results back from the EPA, Andre instructs Riley to hack into the EPA's system instead.

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