“Painkiller Jane” Recaps: Episode 1.4 “Catch Me if You Can”

 
 

Propane and propane accessories — At the surplus store, Jane and Andre learn that the cashier knows Ethan as “Sam” and that he's a regular customer. He comes in for “basics”: batteries, rope, water purification. Again, I ask you, what would your local shopkeep have to say about your purchase habits? What are the “basics” that the Feds would learn you just couldn't live without? (Mine: Cherry Coke Zero, Altoids and Entertainment Weekly. And not necessarily in that order.)

The cashier is in the middle of admitting to selling Ethan a hunting rifle and some knives when Jane snoops and finds a stash of grenades and semiautomatic weapons. Whether Ted Nugent likes it or not, those suckers are still illegal. So the cashier gives up Sam's address so that Andre won't shut her down.

Unfortunately, the address is that of Ethan's sister, but the paper on which it's written has some suspicious-looking doodles in the margins. Jane thinks they look familiar, but she's not sure why. They ask the cranky shopkeep for more info, but she says she doesn't pry, “especially not with that one.” Why? Because, she tells them, he's been stockpiling enough guns, ammo and trip wire to start his own army. Yeah, she should definitely continue selling him more stuff.

Off the grid — Back at Headquarters, Riley is turning up a whole lot of nothing on Ethan/Sam, who has managed to elude pretty much every identification system the government has to offer. Riley admits that Ethan has a talent for staying off the radar, but is confident he will still be able to find him.

Andre is in full macho Fed mode: “A paranoid neuro with an alias and a gun fetish. Tasty.” Heartbreaker Maureen notices the suspicious-looking doodles on the paper from the surplus store. Trendy lass that she is, she recognizes it as the logo of Tosrona, a popular sneaker manufacturer. With a few taps on his keyboard, Riley has discovered that the downtown warehouse for Tosrona is empty — and a perfect place for a hideout.

Jane is still advocating that they leave the poor bastard alone, and when The Ugly One suggests that she's just being a chicken, she reminds him that maybe he should be. She snorts, “I'm the one that makes it out alive!” Heartbreaker Maureen opens up the Fate vs. Free Will can of worms, and the Squad wastes a few minutes debating destiny. Jane is in the free will camp, but the rest of the team is more fatalistic. Jane, maybe it's time for you to go solo. It worked for wonders for Justin Timberlake. Give it some thought.

The Ugly One and Heartbreaker Maureen agree (gads!) that if they don't find and disarm Ethan, countless others might be at risk, and they don't want that blood on their hands.

Sneaker pimps — At the factory, Jane, Andre, Maureen and The Ugly One are decked out in fatigues. As they scramble about looking for Ethan, they look dangerously similar to the way they all looked in Ethan's premonition. The only real difference is that it's daytime, and Ethan's vision involved him gunning them down at night.

Jane and Andre happen across an orange door — the place where Ethan said he would die. Jane begs Andre to let her go in alone first but he charges ahead of her, barking, “We're going in!” I think Andre is amped up on steroids in this episode. Ick.

Behind the orange door — Once inside, not much happens. No trip wire is, uh, tripped, and no gunshots are fired. And that's because the place is empty. No sign of Ethan. Andre is kinda bummed, so Jane reminds him, “Hey, at least you’re alive.” Which reminds me of Natasha's priceless comment, "Some people have war in their countries," to Brittany who was mid-meltdown over getting disqualified from a challenge on America's Next Top Model last week.

Décolletage decoy — Back at Headquarters, Riley has managed to lift some prints off the paper from the surplus store, and he's running them through the system. In doing so, he finds that Ethan has many, many aliases. As Jane leans in to look at the screen, Riley looks down her blouse. Twice. She catches him and he pretends he wasn't looking. Lame.

But Jane harnesses the power of her ample cleavage to hypnotize this numskull and sends him on a faux errand for some stuff she doesn't really need. He literally trips all over himself to get it for her, and while he's gone, she takes over his computer and looks a little more closely at a clue that has caught her eye. She jots down the info and then deletes it from the screen.

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