“Painkiller Jane” Recaps: Episode 1.1 “Pilot”

On the slab in the lab — Jane comes to (life) and asks McDorky why she isn’t dead yet. It’s a question he can’t answer. In the other room, Andre and McDorky discuss the fact that Jane just survived a 46-story fall without any internal (or serious external) injuries. And no, McDorky assures Andre, she is not a neuro.

Jane limps out of the lab and releases herself on her own recognizance. She goes home.

Home is where the thinly veiled lesbian subtext is — Jane lives in some kind of apartment complex decorated in industrial ugly-chic that resembles an abandoned warehouse-slash-Soviet-era bunker.

Vasco V.O.: The thing about most women is that they can’t accept someone wanting to be left alone in a time of crisis. Especially if it’s another woman. Especially if it’s another woman they consider damaged. And if they just happen to have a key to that damaged woman’s apartment, well …

I know the show suddenly sounds really, really gay, but they don’t go there. At least not yet. Jane comes home to find Heartbreaker Maureen grieving in her living room. Maureen ecstatically embraces the supposed-to-be-dead Jane, who emits a loud grunt of pain. She doesn’t have internal bleeding, but she’s still not quite up for a lesbian subtext-laden bear hug.

Maureen: At the agency, they told me you fell off of a building.
Jane: Drunks fall off buildings. I was pushed. Ugh. I need a drink.
Maureen: Jane, you shouldn’t have left the hospital.
Jane: I didn’t. I left the morgue. You know how I hate the cold.
Maureen: What the hell is going on?
Jane: I don’t know. I just fell 40 stories and now I’m looking for a glass I should have washed a week ago.
Maureen: 40? No, no, no. They said it was four. Four is a …
Jane: Possibility?
Maureen: This is about neurons, isn’t it?
Jane: Neuros. And you just stay out of this.

But Heartbreaker Maureen is already way in. She tells Jane that she ran a check on the checks Jane bribed the IT dork into doing on Andre et al, way back when she was still alive and still a DEA agent.

Jane: Why the hell would you do that?
Maureen: Because covering your ass is a habit!

Jane accidentally shatters the glass she was holding, then watches in amazement as the fresh gash on her hand heals right before her eyes (like Wolverine in the X-Men comics, but without all of that nasty body hair). Jane tells Maureen that she has no idea what she’s just gotten herself into.

Emerald City, Part Deux — In another one of her voiceovers, Jane tells us that McBride "recruited" Heartbreaker Maureen just as he had "recruited" her.

Vasco V.O.: I tried talking myself into believing that she had it coming, that it involved caring too much, covering my ass. The truth is, I would have done the same for her. Only … I wouldn’t have been so damn dramatic about it.

Jane is so butch.

Jane and Team McBride are watching the surveillance footage as the newly recruited Maureen enters Vonotek. Jane wants to know if there’s a way that a "minder neuro" can control people when they are not in close proximity to them. The Ugly One suggests "remote control," and his dumb answer sparks Jane to think of a smart one.

Jane recalls that everyone she saw at Vonotek was wearing a snappy little Bluetooth-esque earpiece (aka "com set"), and through her superior (and perhaps zombie-enhanced) powers of deduction, Jane realizes that Liza with a "V" is probably controlling everyone at Vonotek — including Security Head Hyde — via her pimped-out headset.

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